Writing Feedback / IELTS : The two graphs show the main sources of energy in the USA [2]

this is my essay, leave your comment below, thx in advance.

The two graphs depicts the change of energy sources in the USA across 10 years period.
Oil in 1980 took up the largest share in the market, 42%, although it decreased to 33% in 1990. The usage of natural gas, as the second largest one in 1980, dropped 1% only. Coal supplied the third largest energy in 1980, increased its proportion from 22% to 27% and overtook natural gas becoming the second largest energy provider. Hydroelectric power and nuclear power made up equally 5% in 1980, with nuclear power doubled the market share in 1990.

In summary, the traditional energy sources were major power supplier, accounted for 85% in 1990, including oil, natural gas and coal, whereas the government began to invest high-tech energy sources, such as nuclear power.

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Writing Feedback / Email and text messaging threatening the status of written language? [2]

TOPIC:
Email and text messaging have transformed communication, but they are seriously threatening the status of written language.
How far do u agree or disagree with this statement?

It is true that our way of life has been alternated as the new technologies are keeping to introduce to us. Email and text messaging, for instance, have been widespread, as a result, the traditional written language is declined seriously. I will demonstrate my opinion as following reasons:

Firstly, the convenience of Email and text messaging bring to people is enormous, the service of written language is able to provide to us is too poor in comparison. the design of those technologies is to simplify the process of communication between people. it has the function of sending message in group of people. with this function, you can deliver many copies of message to large amount of people just with a simple click which is hardly imaged to spend monthly time to write novel by using written language. Considered on this point, the trend of written language being replaced by email and text messaging is undoubted.

Secondly, the writing form of email and text messaging lets written language suffer. it is possibly because the majority of users of email and text messaging is from the young generation. those prefer to use slang and abbreviation to contact with small group of people. if a outsider try to come along, it is difficult for them to make assumption of the meanings of those words. from time to time. the formal way of written language could be highly possible to be reformed. the younger generation might learn totally different academic writing skill.

In summary, as email and test messaging spread their powerful influence, it is unavoidable that the position of written language is in danger. Even though i personally support the conventional written language, the proper solution left to us is to educate young people the form of written language, to tell them the benefit of it to bring and encourage them to use it as much as possible.

THX everybody.