Graduate / "intellectual ability, passion and willingness" - I'm applying to MPH program [6]

Writing can be really tough. The best thing is to get a draft together, let it sit a day or so (if you have time) and read it again to see how it sounds.

You can email a draft of your essay to:

info@check-my-writing.com

I am happy to look it over for you. Be sure to include the directions that Brooklyn COllege gave you. Every school is different.

Katherine

Graduate / "intellectual ability, passion and willingness" - I'm applying to MPH program [6]

I think you have a nice essay here. It seems to me that you may want to emphasize more about what you want to do rather than how you came to your decision to pursue a MPH. Can you provide some specifics about what it is you will do to "make an impact on a larger population"? As a college professor who has read many of these essays, it is these kinds of things that are interesting to the admission committee.

Also, we do not say that "someone is amputated". Instead, we say that "So and so had to have an amputation", or "So and so had their foot amputated because of Diabetes".

If I were at Brooklyn College and I read this essay, I would be interested in learning more about you. However, you have made many general and sweeping statements about your goals, and I fear that this may work against you.

Those are my two cents. I wish you the best of luck.

Katherine Katsenis
check-my-writing