While in high school I worked at various customer service jobs which included fast food restaurants and retail stores. During this time I realized I was very comfortable meeting new people on a daily basis. I have not always known that Public Health was my calling. It was not until I obtained my Associates degree in Culinary Arts that I realized I was in the wrong profession.
After finishing my internship at an upscale Latin-seafood restaurant, I decided that although I was working with and for people. I did not feel like I was making a difference. I was not interacting with people the way I wanted to.
I started researching careers that could combine my culinary degree and experience with people. After much reading and Google searches I came across Nutrition and Public Health, two career fields that I can apply my experience to. I originally thought Nutrition was a great field for me however; I was drawn to Public Health because of the possibility of making an impact on a larger population.
I am very interested in how behavior affects people health and lifestyles. I believe that many individuals especially minorities do not fully understand how body weight, poor diet and lack of exercise influence preventable chronic diseases. Growing up I have seen the effects of improper eating in my community. It is not uncommon to hear of someone being amputated because of Diabetes. Obesity is on the rise especially among children, it is important for me to understand the causes and solutions to end this epidemic. In the near future I plan on obtaining my CHES certification. I believe with this certification and the education that I will receive will help me to understand the various health issues that many are being faced with.
My undergraduate courses have prepared me with the necessary knowledge and skills to collect and analyze data, identify community needs as well as plan, implement, monitor and evaluate programs designed to encourage health lifestyles and environments.
The MPH program at Brooklyn College is the ideal place for me; not only is it affordable but it will help me realize my professional goals. I am confident Brooklyn College will teach me the skills I need to make the best contributions to the lives of others.
I posses the intellectual ability, passion and willingness to help others needed to succeed at Brooklyn College. Thank you for considering my application.
I think you have a nice essay here. It seems to me that you may want to emphasize more about what you want to do rather than how you came to your decision to pursue a MPH. Can you provide some specifics about what it is you will do to "make an impact on a larger population"? As a college professor who has read many of these essays, it is these kinds of things that are interesting to the admission committee.
Also, we do not say that "someone is amputated". Instead, we say that "So and so had to have an amputation", or "So and so had their foot amputated because of Diabetes".
If I were at Brooklyn College and I read this essay, I would be interested in learning more about you. However, you have made many general and sweeping statements about your goals, and I fear that this may work against you.
Those are my two cents. I wish you the best of luck.
Katherine Katsenis
check-my-writing
thank you for your feedback. I really wanted to say that I would like to educate various groups about making informed decisions when it comes to eating. exercising etc. I just wasnt too sure how to word it. I sometimes have issues writing the words to say what I want.
Writing can be really tough. The best thing is to get a draft together, let it sit a day or so (if you have time) and read it again to see how it sounds.
You can email a draft of your essay to:
info@check-my-writing.com
I am happy to look it over for you. Be sure to include the directions that Brooklyn COllege gave you. Every school is different.
Katherine
Something about the way you wrote that first paragraph is really intriguing. However, I don't think it should be the first paragraph. I think it should be the second paragraph. You should add a new paragraph to the beginning of this essay and make it a paragraph that really captures the essence of your main idea.
Yes, combine the first 2 paragraphs and then add a new intro so that they become the second paragraph. :-)
This is so impressive! You really have interests and aspirations. You seem like a serious intellectual with god intentions. Anyone who does not accept you into the program is an idiot. :-)
Hi,
Actually I am also applying for MPH from USA , so could YOU pls help m me out preparing a SOP for the same,pls if possible can I ask for your email id so that I can seek your help their.I will be really grateful if you revert back. Thanks & regards
