Graduate / "anxious about lending my contribution to society" - Physician Assistant Essay [4]

Hello, my name is matthew and I am currently applying to PA school and would like some productive comments to my essay.

thanks,
matthew

The Admissions Committee is interested in your reasons for entering this field and in your ability to express the motivation behind your decision. Explain below the unique factors and experiences that led you to this profession. If you are already certified or licensed in a health professions field, explain why you wish to continue your education.

above is what I have to answer and since my original post I have revised it.

Revision: Upon graduating from high school my journey began at Georgia Southern University, where I decided to major in something that would tie my love for sports, medical field, and helping others into one. Therefore, I received a Bachelor of Kinesiology with a major in Exercise Science. Shortly after graduation, I worked as an Exercise Specialist for the YMCA where I set up exercise plans for clients. Though, it was considerably sports related and I was indeed helping others, it just was not quite fulfilling for me. My path led me away from the medical field as a whole and placed me in retail, which really fine-tuned my customer service skills. Good customer service correlates with providing exemplary patient care and being able to sympathize with the patient. On the contrary, getting back into the medical field was where my heart was.

My next path was Stephen W. Brown School of Radiography where I excelled as a student and class leader. As a result of my clinical performance I was awarded two scholarships. My physical, educational and clinical growth over the years allowed me to become more responsible and mature. Upon graduating from Brown, I began working at Augusta Vascular Center which is exciting because no two days or patients are the same. We perform a multitude of different procedures which allow us to improve the quality of life for the patients.

My Exercise Science degree, certificate in Radiography, and my training at Augusta Vascular Center were all invaluable experiences. Each allowed me the opportunity to grow as a health care professional and gain a wealth of knowledge and experience. I was able to encounter a diverse group of people. Thus, enabling me to apply critical thinking skills to administer the best treatment and patient care possible. My experiences, interest in the medical field, along with my desire to improve the quality of life of others, are some of the factors that inspire me to become a physician assistant. Becoming a physician assistant would allow me to administer more formal and direct patient care. With the increasing number of patients seen by physicians, as a physician assistant I will be able to assist with assessments and aid in devising the appropriate plan of care for the patient. A physician assistant incorporates a personal relationship with patients, accompanied by a desire to learn and be part of a team. I truly have that desire to learn. Also a good health care provider has compassion for their patients and a demeanor that exhibits that, which are instilled in me. Another driving force to becoming a physician assistant comes from my desire to give back to the community, especially the youth. I want to be a positive role model and express that no matter what the obstacles are, they can be overcome with hard work and dedication. Lastly, I feel that a physician assistant is an asset to todays society and I am anxious about lending my contribution to society as a successful physician assistant.