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Posts by ysanju2004
Joined: Aug 18, 2011
Last Post: Sep 16, 2011
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Posts: 3  

From: United States of America

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ysanju2004   
Sep 16, 2011
Grammar, Usage / "Furthermore, stating..." - Fragment Sentence? [5]

Sullivan points out that every individual should have the right to marry, including homosexuals; stating the unalienable rights of gays as unconstitutional.

a ; only comes between two complete ideas. the first part of the sentence is complete, however the second part isnt. you should think about starting a new sentence
ysanju2004   
Sep 15, 2011
Book Reports / 'the Nazi in The Sunflower is asking for forgiveness' - Thesis Statement! [2]

With extenuating factors supporting the Nazi in The Sunflower is asking for forgiveness both out of guilt and atonement, there is no possible way to decipher if he should or should not be forgiven.

---> make it more concise. I really like the "forgiveness both out of guilt and atonement" but the phrase leading up to it is far to confusing.
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