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Posts by TomLin
Joined: Aug 19, 2011
Last Post: Oct 23, 2011
Threads: 2
Posts: 2  

From: Taiwan

Displayed posts: 4
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TomLin   
Oct 23, 2011
Writing Feedback / IELTS (four charts show the death reasons of registered Indians and total population) [2]

The pie charts presented the main death reasons(Injuries, Circulatory, Cancers, Respiratory, Infectious and Others) for registered Indians and total population in 1992.

As the registered Indian's pie charts illustrated Injuries Circulatory and Others were the three major death results for both male and female, which accounted over 50% of the mortality; while Infectious was the reason caused the less death, only 2%.

It is obviously to notice that Circulatory possessed the highest death rates of the Total Population, which was 36% for male and 48% for women and Cancer wass the second highest, accounted 29% for male 32% and for female. It was also worth to mention that Infectious was still the factor which brought the less casualty.

In summary, Circulatory was the most common; while Infectious was the least common fatal factor for the Indians in 1992






TomLin   
Aug 24, 2011
Writing Feedback / IELTS task2 Can computer replace a human teacher? [3]

In modern education, computers are being widely ised in almost every subject in school and universities,
so some people think that teachers are playing an important role in the classroom. To what extent do you agree or disagree
this opinion? Give reasons for your argument.

With the advance of technology, computers are widely used in different fields of life, including the occupation of teaching. A group of people are in the opinion that teachers are no longer an important role in classroom only for the reason that computers can serve more efficiently than human beings. In spite of other's argument, I personally convinced that the importance of teachers cannot be replaced because they can be flexible in teaching and they have amicable attitude toward students, which computers can not do.

Flexible teaching is one of the biggest different between humans and machines. It is fully acknowledged by everyone that there is no any regular teaching formula, competent teachers can adjust their teaching methods anytime, they can modify their methods in order to help students learning better. We can see in high school history class, historian teacher can provide their pupils an animated historical story rather than a tedious historical even, which is exactly what electronic machines would present.

Amiable attitudes is the other main difference between the two. Whenever students felt disappointment, depressed and even despair, human teachers can noticed immediately and give students the help they need most. Morever, when students have succefully made progress in their academic performance, human teachers can give students the encouragement they want most. Without any doubt the act of praise and support is far beyond any computers in the world can function.

Furnishing instructed with knowledge is not an easy job, it requires instructor to be very adaptable on their instruction and to be an affable person and all these characteristics make teachers can not be substitute by those artificial intelegence. Computers can only be an auxiliary in the classroom.
TomLin   
Aug 19, 2011
Writing Feedback / 'simplistic view'; Can petrol price increase impact on pollution? [7]

Moreover, some families purchase even more than three cars just for their own sake.

I think for their own sake is not appropriate written in academic essay,

I advice you may change like this.... some families purchase more than three cars only to gratify their vanity
TomLin   
Aug 19, 2011
Writing Feedback / 'simplistic view'; Can petrol price increase impact on pollution? [7]

In fact, some families really need one or two cars-------

I think what you mean is that there are some families need more than one car, they need two or three cars, so I recommed you can just write "some families really need more than one car" I think that would be more clear
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