Posts by jtorres89

jtorres89

Aug 28, 2011

Undergraduate / "Moving from New York City, I had trouble" - Boston University Supplement [4]

Hi Kris,

I'd be delighted to offer my advice on your essay. Overall the essay is good, I didn't notice much but a few minor grammatical changes.

1. Not only was I impressed by the university's beautiful buildings and classrooms. (You can also shorten this by just saying architecture. It sound better in my opinion.

2. whom is currently attending Boston University, grantedme the privilege of a personal tour of the campus, as well as the opportunity to view a cultivation of her old freshman coursework. I immediately....

3. Being a minority, I felt as if

If you could do me a favor and perhaps post a reply to my essay I would greatly appreciate it. Good luck with BU and thanks.

jtorres89

Aug 27, 2011

Writing Feedback / "the unemployment crisis" - issue of local, national, or international significance. [3]

Hello all,
This is a rough draft of an essay for the common app. I'm not really sure where to go from here as I'm experiencing a bit of writers block. Any advice or revisions to the essay would be greatly appreciated. Thank you.

the unemployment crisis

Many experts agree we are on the cusp of a global recession, and the risk for another economic downturn succeeding the 08-09 downturn continues to rise with each passing day. Organizations such as the International Monetary Fund (IMF) and World Bank have expressed concerns over this fear respectively. Thoughts of a global recession often bring to mind images of something similar to the Great Depression, or something possibly worse. In my opinion this is perhaps the most worrisome issue staring us in the face right now. One reason for this concern is that the economy ties into many different facets of daily life, both domestically and in other markets around the globe. Given the economies centrality to daily life it can affect not only me personally but every individual in some shape or form. This centrality gives it an overreaching power into countless lives which should make it a top priority and concern.

There is no denying the fact that the unemployment crisis in the U.S. and other developed nations is very severe, with the potential to worsen in the coming months. Economic growth in many advanced economies(America, Europe, Japan) is hardly present right now, which makes these countries susceptible to unforeseen bumps along the road; for example a natural disaster; which nowadays seems ever more common. As it stands the unemployment rate here alone in the U.S. is at 9.1%, this number worsens in a multitude of other large nations. The simple fact of the matter is that when more people are working, more companies are profiting, and economies expand. Right now a steep focus should be placed on getting America back to work; austerity in times like these may only worsening conditions to a greater extent.