LineMedic
Sep 9, 2011
Undergraduate / To obtain my associates degree in Liberal Arts, military background - admission [6]
Thank you i have made the correction you mentioned.
Thank you i have made the correction you mentioned.
LineMedic
Sep 8, 2011
Undergraduate / "Frank taught me that my dreams were superficial" - influencial person [4]
I thought you essay was very interested and I was impressed all the way through. One small issue i noticed was in the final paragraph.
From a young age,i've my dream job has always consisted of wearing a suit daily and working at the top of a massive skyscraper.
You're a wonderful writer! Keep it up!
I thought you essay was very interested and I was impressed all the way through. One small issue i noticed was in the final paragraph.
From a young age,
You're a wonderful writer! Keep it up!
LineMedic
Sep 8, 2011
Undergraduate / To obtain my associates degree in Liberal Arts, military background - admission [6]
Writing Assessment
Instructions
In a typed essay of no fewer than 300 words, please describe:
1.) Your reasons for applying to Empire State College;
2.) Your personal and professional goals, and what topics or areas you hope to study;
3.) Your strengths and experiences (educational, employment, community and personal background) that will make you a successful student in our learning environment.
Please take the time to edit and proofread your essay before submitting it. The writing you produce here will determine whether you are admitted to the college and will help us advise you on your first enrollment.
Your essay will be assessed on the following areas:
ˇDoes your essay address the 3 questions outlined above?
ˇAre the ideas in your essay well organized and does your essay follow the basic structure of the college essay: introduction, body and conclusion?
ˇDoes your essay contain adequate self-reflection and development of ideas?
ˇAre words spelled correctly, and do you use appropriate vocabulary?
ˇHave you corrected grammar and punctuation errors?
Throughout my life I have had many accomplishments due to hard work and perseverance, I have always thought of myself as a person who is both dedicated and driven. I feel that at Empire State College, my eagerness to succeed will be met with open arms. Empire State College provides their students the chance to make their own schedules and they are afforded the ability to meet face to face with a mentor. I feel that this is the recipe I need for continued advancement. Due to my current line of work in Emergency Medical Services and my enlistment with the United States Army, I sometimes have a difficult schedule to work with. Empire State College allows me to leap over that hurdle, so I can continue to follow my dreams.
With the help of Empire State College, I plan to obtain my associates degree in Liberal Arts. My overall goal is to become a Registered Nurse and work as an Emergency Room nurse. Not only does Empire State College make this dream attainable with the courses offered, but the ability to learn one on one from their wide array of highly respectable professors is incredibly appealing and beneficial. Additionally, if an unforeseen deployment arises again in my near future the possibility of taking distance learning courses is still available. It is this flexibility that makes my goals ever more attainable regardless of the potential road blocks that may arise.
With the busy schedule I have as an Advanced Medical Technician, a United States Army Combat Medic and a volunteer for a local ambulance corps, it can be very difficult to find the time to set aside for personal advancements. However, I am convinced that with my military background I will be able to continue to work hard and dedicate myself to reaching my goals. I know I am able to push myself to new limits and I am proud of the accomplishments I have made thus far in my life. With the help of your establishment I can continue to excel and succeed!
Writing Assessment
Instructions
In a typed essay of no fewer than 300 words, please describe:
1.) Your reasons for applying to Empire State College;
2.) Your personal and professional goals, and what topics or areas you hope to study;
3.) Your strengths and experiences (educational, employment, community and personal background) that will make you a successful student in our learning environment.
Please take the time to edit and proofread your essay before submitting it. The writing you produce here will determine whether you are admitted to the college and will help us advise you on your first enrollment.
Your essay will be assessed on the following areas:
ˇDoes your essay address the 3 questions outlined above?
ˇAre the ideas in your essay well organized and does your essay follow the basic structure of the college essay: introduction, body and conclusion?
ˇDoes your essay contain adequate self-reflection and development of ideas?
ˇAre words spelled correctly, and do you use appropriate vocabulary?
ˇHave you corrected grammar and punctuation errors?
Throughout my life I have had many accomplishments due to hard work and perseverance, I have always thought of myself as a person who is both dedicated and driven. I feel that at Empire State College, my eagerness to succeed will be met with open arms. Empire State College provides their students the chance to make their own schedules and they are afforded the ability to meet face to face with a mentor. I feel that this is the recipe I need for continued advancement. Due to my current line of work in Emergency Medical Services and my enlistment with the United States Army, I sometimes have a difficult schedule to work with. Empire State College allows me to leap over that hurdle, so I can continue to follow my dreams.
With the help of Empire State College, I plan to obtain my associates degree in Liberal Arts. My overall goal is to become a Registered Nurse and work as an Emergency Room nurse. Not only does Empire State College make this dream attainable with the courses offered, but the ability to learn one on one from their wide array of highly respectable professors is incredibly appealing and beneficial. Additionally, if an unforeseen deployment arises again in my near future the possibility of taking distance learning courses is still available. It is this flexibility that makes my goals ever more attainable regardless of the potential road blocks that may arise.
With the busy schedule I have as an Advanced Medical Technician, a United States Army Combat Medic and a volunteer for a local ambulance corps, it can be very difficult to find the time to set aside for personal advancements. However, I am convinced that with my military background I will be able to continue to work hard and dedicate myself to reaching my goals. I know I am able to push myself to new limits and I am proud of the accomplishments I have made thus far in my life. With the help of your establishment I can continue to excel and succeed!