jleu
Sep 8, 2011
Writing Feedback / Definition paper - we have to explain a party through denotation and connotation [NEW]
Prompt - to define a party by playing between the denotative and connotative meanings without using the words beer, drinking, music, socializing, dancing, games, costumes, cake, decorations, karaoke, sexual advances, or intoxication
We trekked through an uphill field of freshly mowed grass dripping with dew. With each step another girl would groan of either the muddy grass clippings that were continually catapulting onto her calves or her stiletto heel puncturing through multiple layers of earth's core. We walked in darkness with several dimmed house lights far up in the distance haloing our destination. The air was brisk with a bite of cold wind; in our short skirts and skimpy dresses, none of us had dressed appropriately for the weather. The bass became faint in our ears and the pending commotion began to ease our annoyance with the long agonizing walk.
Finally, coming to the top of the hill, our destination was no longer a glimmering light miles away, but a roaring house with vibrations from the bass seeping out into the dead night. The bass was much louder and now we all could figure out what song was playing; we all fell silent as we sang the song in our heads, yeah we danced on tabletops and we took too many shots, think we kissed but I forgot last Friday night. The song relieved our on-the-edge feelings about coming out to the party. We were ready to have FUN!! As we stepped into the light we fixed our hair, shoes, and skirts and got pumped up. We stepped up to the front door of the all white house; glaring in our faces were big black G letters, of which none of us understood, hanging above the doorway. We walked inside and stopped near a folding table set up just inside the doors. Several upperclassmen sat behind it on squeaky fold out chairs looking intensely bored and waiting to get off "duty". I pulled out my phone and quickly flipped to my last few messages with my friend Austin. David Cockell was the name I was looking for. I approached the table with my group close behind. The guy closest to me asked who I knew, replying as confident as I could I said David Cockell, although I had never met him before. He looked our group over several times noticing right away we were all freshman. Hesitant on whether we truly knew David or not he figured it was our first weekend at Purdue so... why not. He gave us a head nod signaling we could go in. We took to the stairs, partly following people who appeared to know where they were going and partly following the direction of the noise. We went streaking in the park skinny dipping in the dark, then had a menage a trois. Last Friday night, yeah I think we broke the law always say we're gonna stop. This Friday night do it all again. This Friday night do it all again. Trying to connect the dots don't know what to tell my boss, think the city towed my car, chandelier is on the floor with my favorite party dress, warrants out for my arrest. Think I need a ginger ale that was such an epic fail. A common room stood at the top of the stairs containing walls slathered with paint; the top half white and the bottom half bright red. Due to the unfinished look, I assumed the paint job was credited by the frat guys who most likely found their painting skills to be decent enough. The room focused on a ping pong table ,specialized for one thing at a frat, placed directly in the center. A crowd formed around two big husky guys the typical jocks playing against a slimmer guy with a surfer type look and his girlfriend. On both sides of the table cans were pushed out of the way of interrupting the players most of them stood straight up, others had fallen over leaving spilled liquids glistened the table, and some were crushed into a trapezoidal shape with sharp edges sticking out on all ends. A stench of soggy bread mixed with a hint of alcohol encompassed a 10 foot radius from the table. Our group quickly broke up, everyone interested in different rooms. I joined the crowd to watch who would win the ping pong styled match. Down to the last cup on both sides, the match was intense. It was the surfer guys turn; he tossed the ping pong ball and missed too much to the right. Now the girls turn; she tossed and it's close..ahh just barely too far. It was the first jocks turn to throw. The crowd started encouraging him, probably ready for this match to end already. The first guy threw it was a miss. The second guy threw it's close...it's close...PING it hit the rim of the cup and...missed. The crowd sighed in disappointment. Next up the surfer guy; he aims and shoots and it's close...it's really close..it's straight in the cup!!! Everyone relieved and happy for the winners the crowd roared up in excitement, but the game wasn't over yet! The other team gets their last shot. The first guy is up again. Concentrating very hard he goes to shoot...boooo the other team tries throwing him off and he just misses the cup to the left. The second guy gets ready. The other team strikes some obnoxious poses at the end of the table trying to throw their opponents off. He shoots...it hits the rim...and too far! The crowd cheered momentarily and dispersed leaving new opponents taking the spots of the jocks. I made my way out of the common room and to a hallway booming with crowds and loud bass shaking the ground. The hallway was dark with no light besides the light streaming from the open rooms. I found one room playing Shots by LMFAO and was enticed to see what the rowdiness was about. I stepped inside and spotted my friend Austin through multiple couples grinding on each other. In the room you could not hear anything so he signaled me to come over to the bar. There were five shots lined up he pointed to one and looked at me with a questioning look. I nodded and he handed me a shot we cheered and bottoms up. With a sting at the end, I fought the bitter taste. He took my hand and pulled me towards an open space in the room and pulling me in close to him we began to move to the upbeat melody. We went up for round two of shots, then round four, and six...
Prompt - to define a party by playing between the denotative and connotative meanings without using the words beer, drinking, music, socializing, dancing, games, costumes, cake, decorations, karaoke, sexual advances, or intoxication
We trekked through an uphill field of freshly mowed grass dripping with dew. With each step another girl would groan of either the muddy grass clippings that were continually catapulting onto her calves or her stiletto heel puncturing through multiple layers of earth's core. We walked in darkness with several dimmed house lights far up in the distance haloing our destination. The air was brisk with a bite of cold wind; in our short skirts and skimpy dresses, none of us had dressed appropriately for the weather. The bass became faint in our ears and the pending commotion began to ease our annoyance with the long agonizing walk.
Finally, coming to the top of the hill, our destination was no longer a glimmering light miles away, but a roaring house with vibrations from the bass seeping out into the dead night. The bass was much louder and now we all could figure out what song was playing; we all fell silent as we sang the song in our heads, yeah we danced on tabletops and we took too many shots, think we kissed but I forgot last Friday night. The song relieved our on-the-edge feelings about coming out to the party. We were ready to have FUN!! As we stepped into the light we fixed our hair, shoes, and skirts and got pumped up. We stepped up to the front door of the all white house; glaring in our faces were big black G letters, of which none of us understood, hanging above the doorway. We walked inside and stopped near a folding table set up just inside the doors. Several upperclassmen sat behind it on squeaky fold out chairs looking intensely bored and waiting to get off "duty". I pulled out my phone and quickly flipped to my last few messages with my friend Austin. David Cockell was the name I was looking for. I approached the table with my group close behind. The guy closest to me asked who I knew, replying as confident as I could I said David Cockell, although I had never met him before. He looked our group over several times noticing right away we were all freshman. Hesitant on whether we truly knew David or not he figured it was our first weekend at Purdue so... why not. He gave us a head nod signaling we could go in. We took to the stairs, partly following people who appeared to know where they were going and partly following the direction of the noise. We went streaking in the park skinny dipping in the dark, then had a menage a trois. Last Friday night, yeah I think we broke the law always say we're gonna stop. This Friday night do it all again. This Friday night do it all again. Trying to connect the dots don't know what to tell my boss, think the city towed my car, chandelier is on the floor with my favorite party dress, warrants out for my arrest. Think I need a ginger ale that was such an epic fail. A common room stood at the top of the stairs containing walls slathered with paint; the top half white and the bottom half bright red. Due to the unfinished look, I assumed the paint job was credited by the frat guys who most likely found their painting skills to be decent enough. The room focused on a ping pong table ,specialized for one thing at a frat, placed directly in the center. A crowd formed around two big husky guys the typical jocks playing against a slimmer guy with a surfer type look and his girlfriend. On both sides of the table cans were pushed out of the way of interrupting the players most of them stood straight up, others had fallen over leaving spilled liquids glistened the table, and some were crushed into a trapezoidal shape with sharp edges sticking out on all ends. A stench of soggy bread mixed with a hint of alcohol encompassed a 10 foot radius from the table. Our group quickly broke up, everyone interested in different rooms. I joined the crowd to watch who would win the ping pong styled match. Down to the last cup on both sides, the match was intense. It was the surfer guys turn; he tossed the ping pong ball and missed too much to the right. Now the girls turn; she tossed and it's close..ahh just barely too far. It was the first jocks turn to throw. The crowd started encouraging him, probably ready for this match to end already. The first guy threw it was a miss. The second guy threw it's close...it's close...PING it hit the rim of the cup and...missed. The crowd sighed in disappointment. Next up the surfer guy; he aims and shoots and it's close...it's really close..it's straight in the cup!!! Everyone relieved and happy for the winners the crowd roared up in excitement, but the game wasn't over yet! The other team gets their last shot. The first guy is up again. Concentrating very hard he goes to shoot...boooo the other team tries throwing him off and he just misses the cup to the left. The second guy gets ready. The other team strikes some obnoxious poses at the end of the table trying to throw their opponents off. He shoots...it hits the rim...and too far! The crowd cheered momentarily and dispersed leaving new opponents taking the spots of the jocks. I made my way out of the common room and to a hallway booming with crowds and loud bass shaking the ground. The hallway was dark with no light besides the light streaming from the open rooms. I found one room playing Shots by LMFAO and was enticed to see what the rowdiness was about. I stepped inside and spotted my friend Austin through multiple couples grinding on each other. In the room you could not hear anything so he signaled me to come over to the bar. There were five shots lined up he pointed to one and looked at me with a questioning look. I nodded and he handed me a shot we cheered and bottoms up. With a sting at the end, I fought the bitter taste. He took my hand and pulled me towards an open space in the room and pulling me in close to him we began to move to the upbeat melody. We went up for round two of shots, then round four, and six...