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Posts by karatemanchan37
Joined: Oct 8, 2011
Last Post: Oct 9, 2011
Threads: 1
Posts: 4  
From: United States of America

Displayed posts: 5
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karatemanchan37   
Oct 9, 2011
Undergraduate / 'a strong economics curriculum' - Why Swarthmore [3]

"Academically, I believe that Swarthmore is a great choice. In terms of economics, Swarthmore College not only gives me a strong economics curriculum with special emphasis on global economics in the courses such as "Political Economy of Africa", "Global Capitalism Since 1920", and "The International Economy", but also offers numerous summer research opportunities."

Expand on the "numerous summer research opportunities" - remember, if it deserves a mention, then it should be explained. The more you say you know about Swarthmore, the better!
karatemanchan37   
Oct 8, 2011
Undergraduate / 'contact with airplanes' - Stanford intellectually engaging topic essay [4]

Have to agree with PrimeTime here. The question asks you for an experience that developed your growth, right? You mentioned a lot of facts and tidbits about flight in general, but how has this personally affected you in your intelligence? In other words, how did finding out how the wings of an airplane work or how blank air is so special relate metaphorically and symbolically of yourself?
karatemanchan37   
Oct 8, 2011
Undergraduate / 'Chinese student, physics and chemistry classes' - UC the World I Came From [8]

The questions asks you "how your world has shaped your dreams and inspirations", and judging by your last sentences your teachers have influenced you to become the next famous scientist. You also listed out lots of real-life examples in experimenting after school and at home to show your interest in the subjects, so what really inspired you to shift your goal from becoming wealthy to becoming a scientist? There is very little dialogue that shows how you have been impacted from the experiments - just saying that you were "inspired" because of competitions won't work, cut out more on what you did, and write more on why you did it.
karatemanchan37   
Oct 8, 2011
Undergraduate / 'very proud of my father' - the world you come from - UCD [3]

"He is my sole motivation of working hard at school and my guide to socialize in the community. I set my heart to continue his business and expand it to the next level of going international and adding more variety to his products. I'm determined to study more about food and drinks, so in the future I'm going to make him proud in return."

This is implying that you, like your father, are trying to become a businessman/woman, right? If that is so, then I would slightly edit the essay to focus on how did your father's actions inspire you to become follow in his footsteps - your essay kind of shifts toward the feel that you are inspired by his work ethic and perseverance so that you become a better person in general, which makes the quoted sentence above kind of weak. Likewise, while the essay question asks you to write about your family or friends, keep in mind that the colleges are looking for what makes YOU special. Therefore, try and limit your dad's story to maybe 1/2 to 3/4 of the essay, and use the rest to categorize your feelings and reaction instead of implying it in 2-3 sentences.
karatemanchan37   
Oct 8, 2011
Undergraduate / "Names" - An essay on overcoming personal adversity and culture shock [2]

(500 word limit, CA submission. Prompt: It is three weeks before the start of your freshman year at BU, and you are talking to your new roommate for the first time. Since you are trying to get to know each other, what are a few things you would want to share about who you are? )

The first question I asked my parents after they told me that we're moving to Seattle wasn't "Why are we moving?" or "When are we moving?" or "Will I ever see my friends?". The first thing I asked my parents after their news was:

"What should I be called?"

And when my parents exchanged confused looks, I told them "We're moving to the America right? So shouldn't I have an English name so to fit in?". They smiled and told me, yes, Kwan-To, you'll need an English name, so choose one for yourself. And I remembered jumping in excitement, my mind lost in the freedom of deciding my new name.

Retreating to my room, I scanned every piece of English literature I had - Books, magazines, newspapers, advertisements - and I read every name they mentioned: John, Peter, Sam, Christopher, James, the list seemed endless! At last, I saw the perfect name. The same name as Jordan, Jackson, and better still, Keaton, the guy who played Batman! If all three are respected in the US because they're called Michael, then I should call myself that too.

I quickly took up my new identity: I crossed off Chinese name tags and write Michael instead, I reintroduce myself to old friends and family as Michael Chan. I wouldn't even answer to my parents unless they called me Michael. I didn't see it as being rude or annoying, I saw it as the only way to become "Americanized" and change who I am. I saw as the only way to fit in with their society - the only way to survive.

The day finally came when it was time to leave. As I looked at my relatives at the boarding gate one last time, I saw the crying face of my grandmother, calling out "Good bye, Kwan-To". No matter how many times I tried to teach her, she refused to say my new name. "I will always call you Kwan-To, no matter what" she told me. I smiled at the recollection, gave her a big hug, and left to find my seat on the plane.

And that's when I broke down and cried.

I realized at the moment what my grandmother meant: my name wasn't just a representation of who I am, it's a representation of my history. To me, Kwan To might have been just a name. To my grandmother though, it meant her grandson, her own heritage and pride. It was a symbol of the culture I inherited, and amidst the fear of fitting in with American identity, I nearly forgot my Chinese one. It was a powerful reminder and it made me value Kwan-To so much more.

Today, my name is now officially Michael Kwan-To Chan. People would often ask me what Kwan-To means, and I would tell them it means that my grandmother can still see who her grandson is. It means my parents and I can look back and see me as a child. It means that I survived.
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