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Posts by amysticalbird
Joined: Oct 17, 2011
Last Post: Dec 28, 2011
Threads: 1
Posts: 2  
From: United States of America

Displayed posts: 3
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amysticalbird   
Dec 28, 2011
Graduate / "Identify a weakness in your personality and explain how it might impact education" [4]

Red =change
Blue = my suggestion

We know that nobody is 100% perfect in the world. Each and every individual has some weakness, as do I .

One of my classmates immediately pointed out and said don't be too much analytic but just follow the steps as suggested in the classroom and arrive to the requisite answer. (Reword this one. Are you quoting your classmate?)

I always try to get the most precised answer up to third decimal point. I take a great deal of pride in my assignment and am committed to produce the highest-possible best answerbest possible answer . But in doing so I lose more time as (?) compared to others.

I will modify this weakness by pacing my work, so that I don't get caught up in analysis and lose time. I've learned to makeuse my perfectionism in academic assignments to the best of my knowledge for completion.
amysticalbird   
Dec 26, 2011
Undergraduate / a memorable moment -- UIUC essay: some interest or experience of you [3]

Red =change
Blue =my suggestions

"Hey, look at your post-it note; it fell off the wall again!"

Then when I sawSeeing two paper clips on the tableļ¼Œan idea struck me. I twisted one paper clip into something that can stand on the table(Describe? What did you twist it into?) , and then put the other paper clip on the top of the twisted one, so that the note could be fastened with the help of just two paper clips.

I likelove the smiles that appear on the people who I helped with. These smiles made me what I had done meaningful.(Doesn't make sense. Cross out "me"?)

Noticing that the strings of Chinese lute can be easily snapped when someone tunes it and cause players to get injuredmusicians injuries , I designed a tuning device to prevent such accidents .

=)
amysticalbird   
Oct 18, 2011
Undergraduate / "Moving to the Sunshine State" - University of Florida application [NEW]

In the space provided, please write a concise narrative in which you describe a meaningful event, experience or accomplishment in your life and how it will affect your college experience or your contribution to the UF campus community. You may want to reflect on your ideas about student responsibility, academic integrity, campus citizenship or a call to service.

*The essay's maximum is 500 words. I have 547 so there's some trimming to do, probably in the first paragraph. I also feel there's something wrong with the tense and grammar, so please help? Hoping to send this tomorrow... Thanks for your feedback!*

On the New Year of 2005, my family left Madison, Mississippi for Florida. Leaving my friends and the relationships I had created with people for over six years was harder than I had anticipated. I tried to comfort myself with positive thoughts, that the move will be a new start. There will be new places to explore, new people to meet, and new friends to make. But I wouldn't be able to go to the places I know were fun, hang out with the people I've known for years, and laugh at the jokes that my friends only understand... Forget about the new life ahead; I want to stay where I am.

We were approaching the state border. I glowered at the large sign that indicated entry into Florida. The rain that greeted us did little to lift my spirits. So much for the Sunshine State...

After settling down in Fort Lauderdale, the loud, fast-paced life and urban anonymity immediately posed a challenge. I have always been shy and reserved, but Madison provided a setting small enough to facilitate familiarity and close relations. Now, in an entirely different environment where "Hi! Bye!" interaction was the norm, I felt invisible.

In school, my classmates had already formed their group of friends and were reluctant to accept a stranger. My teachers already had their favorites and were impatient with my shortcomings. Discouraged and unable to find my niche in the academia society, I withdrew into my own world. I did not communicate with anyone, did not laugh at my peers' jokes, and when teachers hand out group assignments, I request to work on my own. I became a phantom, always there at the set hours but once the bell signaled the end of the day, I would disappear.

As time went on though, I started to gain substance. It took five years for me to realize that my seclusion was imposed not by an apathetic society, but rather by my own resistance towards change. I see that I can't just sit and wait for people to know me; I had to make myself known. Taking a shot, I began trying to associate more with the members of my class. My first conversation with Gabi, a bouncy, slender girl in Health class, was dotted with awkward silences, but we got along well and started to sit together at lunch. I soon broadened to her own clique and have gained many invaluable friendships. With growing confidence, I started engaging in student life. My first school club attendance was brief but it has opened doors to many other interests. Now instead of completely disappearing, I could be found in numerous extracurricular and volunteer activities such as Spanish Club, John Galt Book Club, S.I.T.E., and even as an officer of Asian Club. I'm becoming a better person.

The move to Florida aided my transition from bitterness to love, but it's an ongoing process. As I think about what college life will be like, about leaving behind what's familiar to me, I am proud to say that I am filled not with fear, but with excitement! I'm eager to find my new niche in the University of Florida where the diverse setting will help strengthen my education, and further nurture my character and confidence.
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