Writing Feedback / 'how society perceives of your identity' - advice on my book essay [2]

Hello everyone,

I just joined this forum because I'm in need of help with my essay for my novel study!

Here is my Intro paragraph:
Dealing with how society perceives of your identity is hard. It is especially hard when you are a lesbian teenager who deals with insecurities and jealousies because of what your girlfriend has repeatedly done to you. "Bottle Rocket Hearts," written by Zoe Whittall, is about an eighteen year old girl from Quebec named Eve who had just moved in with her girlfriend, Della. Eve knew that moving in meant a deeper relationship between her and Della. However, with Della's constant mood swings, Eve is uncertain of where she stands as a person and girlfriend in the relationship. It is clear that Eve struggles to find a sense of belonging in her relationship with her girlfriend and wants to be accepted for whom she is as an LGTB teenager; this is evident through the exploration of the thoughts she has about her girlfriend, the distant relationship between her parents, and how she grows as a person when she finds out the truth about Della and her lies.

--------------------------------------
I'm struggling on how to start off my body paragraph #1 (the argument) and if there's any changes to be made please give me some pointers.

PS: Essay question is: "how do past experiences shape and individual's identity?" - Does my thesis answer the question?

Thanks!