Undergraduate / "A Hero who is making a difference" admission [3]

Hello, im about to apply for colleges this week and just finished up my essay. I just wanted to make sure my essay is 100 percent perfect before sending it off with my application. This is the college topic essay C

Here we go. enjoy :) ...

A Hero

Music has been apart of my life and family for a long time. My passion for music started in my early years, watching my dad's band rehearse in a mini storage garage next to our apartments in Fremont, California. My older brother and I would spend hours listening, dancing, and singing along with him. As I grew older, my brother had become apart of the band in high school. He was a percussionist and I aspired to become just like him. He was a very good one to be exact and was my role model through my middle school years. My older brother passed all of his knowledge to me, knowing that I would also be a very good musician. "You're the legacy I'm leaving behind in this school, and soon enough you'll be doing the same to someone else." he said as he dropped me off to my very first day of band camp. "I won't be here forever, so I can't always tell you what to do. Just remember everything I taught you, and never leave this school without knowing you left it better than it was." The passing his knowledge to me was one of the best pieces of advice I could ever receive, and I always dreamed of doing the same to someone else. Over my high school years, I have earned four ones at UIL Texas State Solo and Ensemble, I have made it to Area twice, and became the first All - State percussionist in my high school. Every time I earned an achievement I would think about those words my brother said to me my freshman year. Teaching is a beautiful thing and can change people's lives; not only by the student but also the mentor himself, like it did to me. There are no words to explain the feeling you get when you see the person you helped exceed. I experience this feeling everyday of the week during marching band, but one person stands out to me the most.

I am apart of the Hendrickson Hawk Marching band, an award winning 4a band that has consecutively earned 5th place 3 times at the UIL state marching band competition since the school opened. In the band, I am apart of the leadership team as the Drumline captain and snare section leader. With these positions comes great responsibility. I am in charge of fifteen energetic, and loud members of the "battery" and within the fifteen, five are in my section. Katy was a very shy, unique, and sweet girl. She was the only rookie of our drumline the past year, and had never experienced the wonders of high school marching band. She had come from a catholic school that had no band, and only knew how to play the drumset which is a very different style than a marching snare drum. I thought to myself that along with working with the other members of my section, I had another responsibility to spend more one-on-one time with Katy to help her understand and feel more confident with herself.

Every week, Katy and I would stay an hour after rehearsal, taking our own time to learn music she was struggling with and work on advancing her technique, which is a very crucial part to being a musician and being apart of marching band. Every week she would show me improvement and never failed to show it. She loved playing her instrument, and at times I would see her in a practice room during her lunch, practicing with her friends and even teaching them how to play a part of the show. Even though her playing was improving, her personality was also changing. She was more outgoing and became friends with more people. Then the day came when our teacher started to notice her improvement. I remember him saying "Wow, Katy I never thought you would be this good this early of the season! I think you may be able to beat Miguel himself!" He joked. Her next few words would change my life forever and the way I thought of myself. "Well, I wish I could say I did it all myself but you should be thanking Miguel because he showed me how to become a better person and made me what I am." Then she turned to me and said "Miguel, you're my hero. And I hope you can do the same to other people what you showed me" I was in shock. Never in my life have I ever been told that I was a hero. She looked up to me and I never wanted to let her down. As the season passed, there were times when I just wanted to quit. I was overloaded with homework and English 3 readings and essays that took up most of my nights. But then I would look over to the other side of the snare line and see Katy's happy and lively face. I knew that she loved what she did, and for her to see her hero fall would be the end of her. I couldn't let her down, and most importantly I couldn't let myself down. That Christmas break, our band had competed in the International Fiesta Bowl Marching Band Championship, and took home the Grand Master Champion trophy and dominated every category.

Then the day came towards the end of my senior marching band career about late October, a few weeks before UIL area which determines if our band advances to state or not. I told Katy what I had always dreamed of saying, "Katy, you are the future of this band. It needs people like you to take charge one day and lead it, just like I did. We don't know if we'll make it all the way to state, but I know in my heart that I did all I could and left my mark. One day, you're going to be saying this to someone else." Saying those words made me feel like I had a purpose here on this earth. To help others understand the meaning of leadership, hard work, and dedication. Once I graduate, my legacy will be left with Katy and I have complete trust in her that she too will do the same with someone else. Teaching other people the knowledge I have learned makes me feel like I am doing something good. Why would anyone who is capable of so much knowledge not want to spread it to others? It is a beautiful thing to see someone being successful when you know you helped out. I will always remember Katy's words and make sure that other people can open their eyes and realize that showing others how to exceed is a heart touching experience. I may not be a hero to anyone else, but I know that I am making a difference, especially to those who are close to me.