Undergraduate / 'market dynamics and math modeling' - Management and Technology Essay [2]

This is REALLY good. I don't know much about business and engineering jargon. Therefore, I can not really help you with this essay, but from I read, it sounds really really good. The only thing is that in the beginning, when you're naming Kevin and Carl, you say that they are both on your left side. Is it supposed to be that way, or did you mean to have one on the left and one on the right?

Good essay though and I hope you get in :D Good Luck :)

Undergraduate / My thirsts for knowledge - HEOP college [3]

People normally ask each other what their biggest dream is , what do they want out of life and what do they want to do in the future. These are hard questions to answer(hard to answer for who?)what is the right answer to these questions and to me the answer is simple, education.Instead you can write:because many people do not know the answer. To me, however, the answer is simple: it is education. Why education you thinkask?W ell , it is simple; without an education it's hard to understand, to live and to enjoy life especially in today's society.

My thirsts for knowledge comes from seeing my parents struggle to pay bills and making ends meet. Having an education is a big deal to me because without an education, my future will not be as bright as I want it to be. I am a very dedicated person towardswhen it comes to my education, community, and future.and If I get accepted to the HEOP, it would be greatly appreciated. Knowing that it would becould be nearly impossible for me to afford to attend an amazing school like Barnard College, the HEOP will help me gain qualities that I would not gain from other schools.

It's a rough draft draft, so just get it revised by teachers and it will be great, and you'll get accepted to Barnard College. :D Good luck.

Book Reports / A Thousand Splendid Suns - how to write a persuasive essay? [6]

thank you that sounds so good :D
do you mind if I use it like you did?
I do have quotes. Here they are:

1. "Attention women: [...] Cosmetics are forbidden. Jewelry is forbidden. You will not wear Charming clothes. You will not speak unless spoken to. You will not make eye contact with men. You will not laugh in public. If you do, you will be beaten" (Hosseini 278).

2. "'Like a compass needle that points north, a man's accusing finger always finds a woman. Always' " (Hosseini 7).

3."He caught her, threw her up against the wall, and struck her with the belt again and again, the buckle slamming against her chest, her shoulder, her raised arms, her fingers, drawing blood wherever it struck" (Hosseini 346).