mereserenity
Oct 30, 2011
Undergraduate / 'knowledge and self-discovery' - UPenn supplement [5]
Yeah I thought so too, thanks!!
Yeah I thought so too, thanks!!
mereserenity
Oct 30, 2011
Undergraduate / 'knowledge and self-discovery' - UPenn supplement [5]
Do you think I answer the question: Considering both the specific undergraduate school to which you are applying and the unique aspects of the University of Pennsylvania, what do you hope to learn from and contribute to the Penn community?
Do you think I answer the question: Considering both the specific undergraduate school to which you are applying and the unique aspects of the University of Pennsylvania, what do you hope to learn from and contribute to the Penn community?
mereserenity
Oct 30, 2011
Undergraduate / 'the Student Government Organization' - Georgetown Early Action Short Response [3]
It sounds much better! Mind taking a look at my essay please??
It sounds much better! Mind taking a look at my essay please??
mereserenity
Oct 30, 2011
Undergraduate / 'the Student Government Organization' - Georgetown Early Action Short Response [3]
Instead of starting off saying " Throughout my four years of high school, I have been most involved with the Student Government Organization" try to be more intriguing in the intro. Maybe start by discussing the impact, then later introducing what organization you were involved in to make them more interested.
Also, try not to be redundant when you say "Having won four elections, I have been president of my class since freshman year. Without a doubt, being president of my class has had the most significant impact on me" Perhaps make that one combined sentence like : Since freshman year, being president of my class has indeed had the most significant impact on me
I dont know how long it has to be, but try embedding more detail if you can & sprinkle in good vocab words here and there.
Instead of starting off saying " Throughout my four years of high school, I have been most involved with the Student Government Organization" try to be more intriguing in the intro. Maybe start by discussing the impact, then later introducing what organization you were involved in to make them more interested.
Also, try not to be redundant when you say "Having won four elections, I have been president of my class since freshman year. Without a doubt, being president of my class has had the most significant impact on me" Perhaps make that one combined sentence like : Since freshman year, being president of my class has indeed had the most significant impact on me
I dont know how long it has to be, but try embedding more detail if you can & sprinkle in good vocab words here and there.
mereserenity
Oct 30, 2011
Undergraduate / 'extremely goal-oriented' - Why transfer, objectives hope to achieve [3]
"I have always thought of myself as extremely goal-oriented" try to make it more interesting & captivating rather than simply asserting a fact about yourself. Perhaps you can say something along the lines of "Hungrily working to achieve my goals, I arrived to the United States in order to excel in nursing" and make it more detailed. Make the conclusion a bit more intriguing.
"I have always thought of myself as extremely goal-oriented" try to make it more interesting & captivating rather than simply asserting a fact about yourself. Perhaps you can say something along the lines of "Hungrily working to achieve my goals, I arrived to the United States in order to excel in nursing" and make it more detailed. Make the conclusion a bit more intriguing.
mereserenity
Oct 30, 2011
Undergraduate / 'knowledge and self-discovery' - UPenn supplement [5]
The aroma of knowledge and self-discovery fill the air of the University of Pennsylvania. Taking a tour of the extensive research utilities and elaborate libraries, I was suddenly awestruck. Having 165 research centers and institutes, UPenn serves its duty in being an esteemed institution. Stepping into these buildings, I visualized myself with a variety of books in hand (ranging from anatomy and physiology to the culture of Spain), my Starbucks coffee, and not to mention a group of quirky, intellectual individuals surrounding me. I conceptualized the idea of taking advantage of such a vast campus that was situated in the midst of University City, just across Center City Philadelphia.
Constituted as one of the world's leading research universities, the School of Arts and Sciences illustrates a rather striking portrait of education. Not only does it encompass a variety of innovative and diverse programs, but it also provides exceptional opportunities for those in the pre-medicine realm. Of course many other prospective students are striving to get accepted into this program. Nonetheless, my science background and experiences truly shed light on my desire to become a member of the UPenn community.
Becoming involved in Science Olympiad has allowed me to broaden my knowledge of medicine. Meticulously examining each body system and learning the names as if they were part of the alphabet gave me a taste of what is down the road for me. Dynamically, I drew diagrams of the functionality of these systems to further solidify my knowledge. Prepping day and night until the day of the competition truly made me a shoo-in for victory. This experience allowed me to expand my knowledge. Ergo, I hope I can experience the same type of atmosphere at UPenn in order to satisfy my hunger for science.
Another facet I find to be optimum is my early exposure to medicine. As a sophomore, I chose to volunteer at a Children's hospital in Ahmedabad, India. I was astonished by the hospital's modest resources where staff often found themselves inundated with patients. Such a circumstance pushed me to become involved in community development. In the morning, I spent my time in the hospital assisting nurses with basic medical care such as tossing linens and transporting patients. Other afternoons were then dedicated to teaching the local children in a school adjacent to the hospital. Thus, the knowledge I attained, the people I met, and the positive change that I helped affect has changed my life and the way in which I perceive the world. But above all, I have this desire to learn through a line of inquiry and to apply the acquired knowledge to help in any way I can. For this reason, I do believe that I can ultimately realize my steadfast ambition to make meaningful contributions in the pre-medicine realm at the School of Arts and Sciences in UPenn. I hope you will give me the privilege of making my dreams come true through the education and mentorship from the faculty at your reputable institution.
The aroma of knowledge and self-discovery fill the air of the University of Pennsylvania. Taking a tour of the extensive research utilities and elaborate libraries, I was suddenly awestruck. Having 165 research centers and institutes, UPenn serves its duty in being an esteemed institution. Stepping into these buildings, I visualized myself with a variety of books in hand (ranging from anatomy and physiology to the culture of Spain), my Starbucks coffee, and not to mention a group of quirky, intellectual individuals surrounding me. I conceptualized the idea of taking advantage of such a vast campus that was situated in the midst of University City, just across Center City Philadelphia.
Constituted as one of the world's leading research universities, the School of Arts and Sciences illustrates a rather striking portrait of education. Not only does it encompass a variety of innovative and diverse programs, but it also provides exceptional opportunities for those in the pre-medicine realm. Of course many other prospective students are striving to get accepted into this program. Nonetheless, my science background and experiences truly shed light on my desire to become a member of the UPenn community.
Becoming involved in Science Olympiad has allowed me to broaden my knowledge of medicine. Meticulously examining each body system and learning the names as if they were part of the alphabet gave me a taste of what is down the road for me. Dynamically, I drew diagrams of the functionality of these systems to further solidify my knowledge. Prepping day and night until the day of the competition truly made me a shoo-in for victory. This experience allowed me to expand my knowledge. Ergo, I hope I can experience the same type of atmosphere at UPenn in order to satisfy my hunger for science.
Another facet I find to be optimum is my early exposure to medicine. As a sophomore, I chose to volunteer at a Children's hospital in Ahmedabad, India. I was astonished by the hospital's modest resources where staff often found themselves inundated with patients. Such a circumstance pushed me to become involved in community development. In the morning, I spent my time in the hospital assisting nurses with basic medical care such as tossing linens and transporting patients. Other afternoons were then dedicated to teaching the local children in a school adjacent to the hospital. Thus, the knowledge I attained, the people I met, and the positive change that I helped affect has changed my life and the way in which I perceive the world. But above all, I have this desire to learn through a line of inquiry and to apply the acquired knowledge to help in any way I can. For this reason, I do believe that I can ultimately realize my steadfast ambition to make meaningful contributions in the pre-medicine realm at the School of Arts and Sciences in UPenn. I hope you will give me the privilege of making my dreams come true through the education and mentorship from the faculty at your reputable institution.
