teteh ayu
Dec 9, 2011
Writing Feedback / Essay about "at the city park" [2]
hi sir...help me please!!! these my students' writing with the topic about "at the city park" i need your help to check grammar rule and usage in their writing...
1. This is the city park. The city park is the beautiful place in the city park there in one police, juggling, a cat, a dog, a chicken, a playing saxophone, cycling, a playing roller skate, there are many birds, ice cream man. Etc.
The city park is large. Many people visit to the place, because the place is agree for recreation. The city park has many trees until to be cool.
2. This is the city park, this is located on Bintaro. There is one policeman on the road. In front of the police there is the girl was juggling the ball, on the grass is a man, the man is playing the saxophone so loud and many birds is hearing he. A woman is cycling in the park. In the park there is ice cream seller and the dog looking him. Look there is chicken was sit on the chair. One girl is playing a roller skats, near the pool there is a cat was drink. If holiday is come this city park is very-very crowd.
3. There is a city park. The city park is beautiful at the holiday many people come to this place. It's located at central Jakarta.
The city park is crowded. There are police patrol of the park. A woman is juggling the ball. A woman is cycling. There are also ace cream seller, the dog looking him. On the grass someone is playing the music and the birds hearing the music, a chicken look someone who playing skate, the chicken is sit on the chair and the cat drinks beside the pond. They very enjoy of their activities the city park is very fresh. Because many trees at the park.
4. This is a city park. There is a policeman, a juggling woman, a roller skate woman, a biker woman, a musician man, an ice cream seller, a sitting, a dog that want to eat an ice cream, a cat that drinking water, a cat that drinking water and then there are many birds there. The one of the bird is eat something on the land. There is a hedge behind the policeman and then the wall beside the hedge. There is a city park lamp too, it's on the wall far from the city park. We can see the building of the town. There are so many building of the town. There are so many buildings in the town, there is a bench under the chicken too, there are many trees there too.
The city par is so beautiful place for me, I really loved this city park cause every Saturday afternoon I practiced there the wind in city park is chilly and refresh too, parents warn me to pay attention more to take care this park, so the people always come there to practiced and then the city park always crowded
5. This is the city park. In the city park there is one policeman, many a tree, one a juggling one dog one cat one chicken and many more. The city park is located in Jakarta at H.Saikin the city park enough big and wide.
The policeman in the city park are walking on the road it is a city park where the people of Indonesia and tourist holiday in the city park there are many visitors.
In the front of the policeman there are the girl was juggling the ball and a man to selling ice cream and a musician man playing a saxophone, the dog looking the ice cream seller.
In front of the dog and an ice cream seller there cat are drink the water and the boat on the water, beside the tree there are s chicken and a chair, that chicken is sit on the chair in front of the chicken there is a roller skate woman.
hi sir...help me please!!! these my students' writing with the topic about "at the city park" i need your help to check grammar rule and usage in their writing...
1. This is the city park. The city park is the beautiful place in the city park there in one police, juggling, a cat, a dog, a chicken, a playing saxophone, cycling, a playing roller skate, there are many birds, ice cream man. Etc.
The city park is large. Many people visit to the place, because the place is agree for recreation. The city park has many trees until to be cool.
2. This is the city park, this is located on Bintaro. There is one policeman on the road. In front of the police there is the girl was juggling the ball, on the grass is a man, the man is playing the saxophone so loud and many birds is hearing he. A woman is cycling in the park. In the park there is ice cream seller and the dog looking him. Look there is chicken was sit on the chair. One girl is playing a roller skats, near the pool there is a cat was drink. If holiday is come this city park is very-very crowd.
3. There is a city park. The city park is beautiful at the holiday many people come to this place. It's located at central Jakarta.
The city park is crowded. There are police patrol of the park. A woman is juggling the ball. A woman is cycling. There are also ace cream seller, the dog looking him. On the grass someone is playing the music and the birds hearing the music, a chicken look someone who playing skate, the chicken is sit on the chair and the cat drinks beside the pond. They very enjoy of their activities the city park is very fresh. Because many trees at the park.
4. This is a city park. There is a policeman, a juggling woman, a roller skate woman, a biker woman, a musician man, an ice cream seller, a sitting, a dog that want to eat an ice cream, a cat that drinking water, a cat that drinking water and then there are many birds there. The one of the bird is eat something on the land. There is a hedge behind the policeman and then the wall beside the hedge. There is a city park lamp too, it's on the wall far from the city park. We can see the building of the town. There are so many building of the town. There are so many buildings in the town, there is a bench under the chicken too, there are many trees there too.
The city par is so beautiful place for me, I really loved this city park cause every Saturday afternoon I practiced there the wind in city park is chilly and refresh too, parents warn me to pay attention more to take care this park, so the people always come there to practiced and then the city park always crowded
5. This is the city park. In the city park there is one policeman, many a tree, one a juggling one dog one cat one chicken and many more. The city park is located in Jakarta at H.Saikin the city park enough big and wide.
The policeman in the city park are walking on the road it is a city park where the people of Indonesia and tourist holiday in the city park there are many visitors.
In the front of the policeman there are the girl was juggling the ball and a man to selling ice cream and a musician man playing a saxophone, the dog looking the ice cream seller.
In front of the dog and an ice cream seller there cat are drink the water and the boat on the water, beside the tree there are s chicken and a chair, that chicken is sit on the chair in front of the chicken there is a roller skate woman.