BlackPhoenix
Nov 16, 2008
Undergraduate / 'looking to become a computer engineer' - Rutgers University Admission [5]
Hi, I'm looking for any advice on my essay (changes, corrections, etc). Also I read from somewhere that it is better to have a shorter essay than a long one. If that is true, what can I do to condense my essay? Thanks in advance for the help.
Essay Prompt: Rutgers University is a vibrant community of people with a wide variety of backgrounds and experiences. How would you benefit from and contribute to such an environment? Consider variables such as your talents, travels, leadership activities, volunteer services, and cultural experiences. Only personal essays submitted via our website will be considered. You may enter a maximum of 3800 characters including spaces.
At a very young age I was taught by my parents, "In order to succeed, one must do well in school and attain a high level of education." How does one start to comprehend what it means to do well before starting grade school? It wasn't something I had to comprehend, but something I had to do because my parents came to America in order for me to have a better future. Throughout the years I have been in school, I've been able to maintain high grades and now, I have to attain that higher level of education I've always dreamed of.
I believe Rutgers University will be able to offer me much more than just a higher level of education. With its diverse community of different cultures, experiences, and people, Rutgers University will expose me to a world I'm familiar with, but on a much greater scale. The diversity in the small town I grew up in was limited, but this limitation taught me there's much more to a culture than its food and holidays. There are also the lessons and values different cultures have. Not only have I learned about others' cultures, but growing up in a traditional Chinese family has taught me a lot about my own. The lessons and values taught by my family has taught me how to be a better person and essentially made me into who I am today.
By attending Rutgers University, I will be able to benefit from and contribute to its already diverse community. Like I mentioned before, I grew up in a traditional Chinese family so I will be able to share with others my New Year, the Chinese New Year, and many other traditions we have. Like any other culture, we have traditional dishes that are different from what one might order at a Chinese restaurant. By sharing this with others, I believe it will open their eyes to something unique and different from what they perceive as Chinese tradition.
Along with Rutgers University's diverse culture, there is also the copious amount of experience people have. Whether the experience comes from work, school, or life in general, each individual has acquired knowledge from their own exclusive experiences. I too, learned from my life experiences and I believe with these experiences, I will be able to enlighten my peers to think more openly and considerately. The knowledge I give will reciprocate knowledge of others that I have been ignorant to before and enrich my way of thinking and understanding. A quote by Johann Wolfgang von Goethe states, "Knowing is not enough; we must apply!" Attaining knowledge by others is something we can all benefit from, but applying it to everyday life will benefit the society we live in.
The community that Rutgers University will provide will not only benefit me in learning about others' cultures and expanding my knowledge, but it will also be able to aid me in my studies. I have always been interested in technology ever since I was young, especially in computers. That is why I am looking to become a computer engineer. With the great programs provided by Rutgers University, I believe I can accomplish this daunting task. The road in the future may be tough, but with the life experiences I carry and the help of Rutgers and its community I know I can accomplish what I set out to do.
Hi, I'm looking for any advice on my essay (changes, corrections, etc). Also I read from somewhere that it is better to have a shorter essay than a long one. If that is true, what can I do to condense my essay? Thanks in advance for the help.
Essay Prompt: Rutgers University is a vibrant community of people with a wide variety of backgrounds and experiences. How would you benefit from and contribute to such an environment? Consider variables such as your talents, travels, leadership activities, volunteer services, and cultural experiences. Only personal essays submitted via our website will be considered. You may enter a maximum of 3800 characters including spaces.
At a very young age I was taught by my parents, "In order to succeed, one must do well in school and attain a high level of education." How does one start to comprehend what it means to do well before starting grade school? It wasn't something I had to comprehend, but something I had to do because my parents came to America in order for me to have a better future. Throughout the years I have been in school, I've been able to maintain high grades and now, I have to attain that higher level of education I've always dreamed of.
I believe Rutgers University will be able to offer me much more than just a higher level of education. With its diverse community of different cultures, experiences, and people, Rutgers University will expose me to a world I'm familiar with, but on a much greater scale. The diversity in the small town I grew up in was limited, but this limitation taught me there's much more to a culture than its food and holidays. There are also the lessons and values different cultures have. Not only have I learned about others' cultures, but growing up in a traditional Chinese family has taught me a lot about my own. The lessons and values taught by my family has taught me how to be a better person and essentially made me into who I am today.
By attending Rutgers University, I will be able to benefit from and contribute to its already diverse community. Like I mentioned before, I grew up in a traditional Chinese family so I will be able to share with others my New Year, the Chinese New Year, and many other traditions we have. Like any other culture, we have traditional dishes that are different from what one might order at a Chinese restaurant. By sharing this with others, I believe it will open their eyes to something unique and different from what they perceive as Chinese tradition.
Along with Rutgers University's diverse culture, there is also the copious amount of experience people have. Whether the experience comes from work, school, or life in general, each individual has acquired knowledge from their own exclusive experiences. I too, learned from my life experiences and I believe with these experiences, I will be able to enlighten my peers to think more openly and considerately. The knowledge I give will reciprocate knowledge of others that I have been ignorant to before and enrich my way of thinking and understanding. A quote by Johann Wolfgang von Goethe states, "Knowing is not enough; we must apply!" Attaining knowledge by others is something we can all benefit from, but applying it to everyday life will benefit the society we live in.
The community that Rutgers University will provide will not only benefit me in learning about others' cultures and expanding my knowledge, but it will also be able to aid me in my studies. I have always been interested in technology ever since I was young, especially in computers. That is why I am looking to become a computer engineer. With the great programs provided by Rutgers University, I believe I can accomplish this daunting task. The road in the future may be tough, but with the life experiences I carry and the help of Rutgers and its community I know I can accomplish what I set out to do.