Undergraduate / The ugly princess. Common App Essay [10]

Wonderful essay!!!
But I think that it would be better if you can rephrase you sentence,"Friends sarcastic and indirect..." in a way like,
" the sarcastic and indirect comments of my friends drenched me off ..."

Undergraduate / 'the ins and outs of cars' - Mechanical Engineering UofT [7]

I think that almost all the U o T engineering admission essays began with, "Ever since I was a child..." try rephrasing.and I feel that your first para needs to sound more enthusiastic