Undergraduate / 'An Unwelcome Routine' - personal quality/Common App [16]

I think it's off-topic. You're trying to hit on the topic, but you're only braising it.

Your essay does not highlight the quality that you are trying to express about yourself. It only mentions it.

What I get from your essay when I read it is
"I make sure that I get to work on time even on a tight schedule. Thus, I am good with time management."

Mmmmm... that only shows a little bit of time management since to get work on time, all you need to do is run to the bus stop.

Your essay would be more compelling if you put extra emphasis on how you manage to organize your homework into sections of time after you get home from your long part-time job.

So I mean, you have the general idea of the essay down, but your focus is a little questionable.

(You also don't spend enough time explaining why you are proud of this quality of yours.)