nsyazanan
Nov 28, 2011
Undergraduate / Life's a Ferris Wheel. [2]
I was pissed off. What had I done wrong? I thought I did better than her. It's not just a 'thought' but I was convinced that I was. She wasn't answering as fluently as I did, no offence, but which part of my answer was not good enough to prove to the instructors? It was an interview held by a group of teachers to choose 5 students out of the total of 116 to join a summer camp in John Hopkins University. After the pair interview was over I had this high confidence to be one of the students chosen, well at least than her. Then, it was the most-awaited announcement. My heart crashed like it was being smashed to the wall when my name was not listed. But hers did. I tried to meditate, refreshing back to the day of the interview. Maybe it was my attitude, I was moving a lot on the chair during the session, it could irritate the teachers. "Owh, Syazana, you only slacked a bit," said my teacher during one of my meeting with her. After a little investigation I figured out the reason of my failure to be selected : One or two of my grades were not as high as that girl. My result, although it was only a little gap from her, had disabled me to be put at a higher position than hers in the top students list which in turn made me not to be selected. "I see no point of the interview, they just chose the top 5 students, no matter how good we answered them," my friend who didn't get through the interview poured out the same thought as I did when we were having a conversation.
I have always been known as a cool , intelligent girl who deals everything without fussing around , but I cried for this heart-breaking incident as my hope for this opportunity was even higher than any wishes that I ever had in my 16 years of living. Life's a Ferris wheel, I heard the words echoing in my head for countless of time. 'Look back at what you had gone through', the Auspicious Girl in me spoke again. Early that year, I was just selected to a national gifted program in my country. It was a dilemma whether I should go or not as I myself came from an elite school but I decided to go for it anyway. Then, it was a selection for the college committee. I was suggested for one of the positions but I had fewer votes. You're just here for a week, nobody knows you well yet, I said to myself. I had to admit that I was a bit disappointed as I was a girl who always gets what I desire. Like the public speaking competition. My first idea of joining the competition was just to give it a try after being a champion in the storytelling competition at the national level in the previous year. But after winning the zone level and made it to the national, I said to myself, you know what, let's finish this with triumph. And so I did. A few weeks after the college committee selection, came the students board selection. My name was suggested, I was interviewed and just as I hoped for, I became the Vice President of the Student Council.
So I guess it will always be like this, this life. Sometimes you're at the upper level of the wheel, and there are times when you aren't. Sometimes I just wonder at what level of the wheel am I at, but the truth is, we don't need to know that, just deal with whatever that come into our life. Failure's good because it teaches and corrects us, and triumph: the one thing that we always crave for may jeopardise us if we become too carried away.
I was pissed off. What had I done wrong? I thought I did better than her. It's not just a 'thought' but I was convinced that I was. She wasn't answering as fluently as I did, no offence, but which part of my answer was not good enough to prove to the instructors? It was an interview held by a group of teachers to choose 5 students out of the total of 116 to join a summer camp in John Hopkins University. After the pair interview was over I had this high confidence to be one of the students chosen, well at least than her. Then, it was the most-awaited announcement. My heart crashed like it was being smashed to the wall when my name was not listed. But hers did. I tried to meditate, refreshing back to the day of the interview. Maybe it was my attitude, I was moving a lot on the chair during the session, it could irritate the teachers. "Owh, Syazana, you only slacked a bit," said my teacher during one of my meeting with her. After a little investigation I figured out the reason of my failure to be selected : One or two of my grades were not as high as that girl. My result, although it was only a little gap from her, had disabled me to be put at a higher position than hers in the top students list which in turn made me not to be selected. "I see no point of the interview, they just chose the top 5 students, no matter how good we answered them," my friend who didn't get through the interview poured out the same thought as I did when we were having a conversation.
I have always been known as a cool , intelligent girl who deals everything without fussing around , but I cried for this heart-breaking incident as my hope for this opportunity was even higher than any wishes that I ever had in my 16 years of living. Life's a Ferris wheel, I heard the words echoing in my head for countless of time. 'Look back at what you had gone through', the Auspicious Girl in me spoke again. Early that year, I was just selected to a national gifted program in my country. It was a dilemma whether I should go or not as I myself came from an elite school but I decided to go for it anyway. Then, it was a selection for the college committee. I was suggested for one of the positions but I had fewer votes. You're just here for a week, nobody knows you well yet, I said to myself. I had to admit that I was a bit disappointed as I was a girl who always gets what I desire. Like the public speaking competition. My first idea of joining the competition was just to give it a try after being a champion in the storytelling competition at the national level in the previous year. But after winning the zone level and made it to the national, I said to myself, you know what, let's finish this with triumph. And so I did. A few weeks after the college committee selection, came the students board selection. My name was suggested, I was interviewed and just as I hoped for, I became the Vice President of the Student Council.
So I guess it will always be like this, this life. Sometimes you're at the upper level of the wheel, and there are times when you aren't. Sometimes I just wonder at what level of the wheel am I at, but the truth is, we don't need to know that, just deal with whatever that come into our life. Failure's good because it teaches and corrects us, and triumph: the one thing that we always crave for may jeopardise us if we become too carried away.
