VLUR54
Dec 2, 2011
Writing Feedback / 'The alcohol lovers' - comparing paragraphs [NEW]
please help me to editing several paragraphs!
ALCOHOL LOVERS
The alcohol lovers that love to drink alcohol and many of people who put emphasis on the well-being and healthy product have worries about alcohol's riskiness on their body. As a result of that, recently, many people drink wine and makgeolli because of their wholesome features. Both of them are better for health than other alcohol beverages, because they are brewed by fermenting. Both alcohols have common point that fermentation, however, these two kinds of alcohol drinks have unique differences. We can classify that in several ways.
We can find their differences in manufacture. Wine has its origin in the Middle East, and it usually produces from Europe and American continent. Wine is made by fermenting grape's sugar. In this process, red wine uses red grapes, and white wine uses green grapes. Wine's alcohol degree is various and it approximately from 10 to 23 proof. Makgeolli, on the other hand, is originated in Korea, and also produces by Korea. Its manufacture method is ferment grain like sweet rice, barley and wheat with yeast. Makgeolli's alcohol degree is relatively low and it usually 6 to 7 proof.
We can also consider the method to drink beverages. Wine is mostly drink with the glass called wine glass. Before drink it, we smelled the scent of wine, and shook the wine glass slightly, and then drink little by little. The snacks served with the wine are cheese, fruits, salad and etc. Makgeolli is usually pours into a cup that looks like soup bowl called brassware. Before drink makgeolli, we have to shake the bottle to mix the sediment with the liquid. And lots of Korean people knock a cup of makgeolli back. The foods usually eat with makgeolli are some Korean foods like kimchi chigae and pancake that called jeon.
Finally, they affect on our health differently. Wine is effective in preventing cancer because of it's ingredient like resveratrol and rapamycin. In addition, wine is also good for preventing heart disease and migraine, and its vitamin and mineral ingredients are effective in antiaging. Makgeolli also has effectiveness against cancer, and in a recent study, it was proved that makgeolli's anticancer substances are 25 times more than wine's one. And makgeolli is helpful to relieve constipation because it is high in fiber. Moreover, makgeolli is low in calories, so it is excellent for the person who is on a diet.
please help me to editing several paragraphs!
ALCOHOL LOVERS
The alcohol lovers that love to drink alcohol and many of people who put emphasis on the well-being and healthy product have worries about alcohol's riskiness on their body. As a result of that, recently, many people drink wine and makgeolli because of their wholesome features. Both of them are better for health than other alcohol beverages, because they are brewed by fermenting. Both alcohols have common point that fermentation, however, these two kinds of alcohol drinks have unique differences. We can classify that in several ways.
We can find their differences in manufacture. Wine has its origin in the Middle East, and it usually produces from Europe and American continent. Wine is made by fermenting grape's sugar. In this process, red wine uses red grapes, and white wine uses green grapes. Wine's alcohol degree is various and it approximately from 10 to 23 proof. Makgeolli, on the other hand, is originated in Korea, and also produces by Korea. Its manufacture method is ferment grain like sweet rice, barley and wheat with yeast. Makgeolli's alcohol degree is relatively low and it usually 6 to 7 proof.
We can also consider the method to drink beverages. Wine is mostly drink with the glass called wine glass. Before drink it, we smelled the scent of wine, and shook the wine glass slightly, and then drink little by little. The snacks served with the wine are cheese, fruits, salad and etc. Makgeolli is usually pours into a cup that looks like soup bowl called brassware. Before drink makgeolli, we have to shake the bottle to mix the sediment with the liquid. And lots of Korean people knock a cup of makgeolli back. The foods usually eat with makgeolli are some Korean foods like kimchi chigae and pancake that called jeon.
Finally, they affect on our health differently. Wine is effective in preventing cancer because of it's ingredient like resveratrol and rapamycin. In addition, wine is also good for preventing heart disease and migraine, and its vitamin and mineral ingredients are effective in antiaging. Makgeolli also has effectiveness against cancer, and in a recent study, it was proved that makgeolli's anticancer substances are 25 times more than wine's one. And makgeolli is helpful to relieve constipation because it is high in fiber. Moreover, makgeolli is low in calories, so it is excellent for the person who is on a diet.