Writing Feedback / Group Essay - "Warning! Teen Dating Hurts!" [7]

This was a group assignment. The teacher told us to choose a topic and come up with a argument. We picked the topic of teen dating and decided it was negative. The intro and conclusion is done by all of us, while we all had a paragraph in the middle. My paragraph is the pregnancy one. Please review this, so we can make it better. I just discovered this website, unfortunately it was only one day before its due. It's due tomorrow 12/6. *I respect all comments good or bad.*

She walked into the classroom crying because she found she was pregnant by her abusive boyfriend. This is an example of teen dating gone bad. We believe that teen dating negatively affects young people's lives. It causes grades to decrease, violence to possibly arise during relationships, and also more pregnancies.

During a teen's relationship, they become more immature and irresponsible with their actions. Therefore, more and more people are becoming pregnant, especially in dating teenagers. ABC Mews found a report from the National Center for Health Statistics of U.S Department of Health and Human Services, the Guttmacher institute, the U.S centers for Disease control and Prevention and the population Estimate program of the U.S Bureau of the census in collaboration with NCHS and it stated, "The pregnancy rate was 71.5% per 1,000 girls aged 15-19, and pregnancies occurred among 7% of females in this age group." This quote shows just how many are getting pregnant. It's too much. We shouldn't have that many teens/kids carry that responsibility. How will they know how to protect and care for the child? They are too young to have to do this. In conclusion, teens shouldn't be dating because they won't know how to protect themselves.

Teens face a lot of important decisions, like whether to visit their boyfriend or girlfriend or to study for a test. Education is negatively affected by teens dating. After tons of research we have found that "Results showed a relation between dating lower academic performance" and "if students are involved in a social dating parameter, then school will in turn suffer" These quotes from, Effect of Romantic Relationships on Academic performance, prove that teen dating negatively effects education. Academic performances is affected by teen dating. It may put a decrease in your grades and test scores. It can endanger your school reputation.

Teen dating can cause teen pregnancy and grades to decrease.You'd think that that's a lot but it can also endanger teen's safety, because of abusive relationships. After looking online I've found that The Clothes Line Project stated, "Approximately 1 in 5 female high school students report physically/and or sexually abused by a dating partner." Teen dating should be taken very seriously; this statistic shows how teen dating can risk the safety of your teen's life. Abuse should not be taken lightly, so in conclusion teen dating shouldn't be approved.

Teen dating is not all a negative issue, there are positive effects to this too. Many people very often have the wrong concept of dating. Teen dating is a way to learn healthy communication skills with a partner. Dating teaches teenagers about compromise, the importance of trust and honesty, these are the basis of a healthy relationship. While dating, they go to movies, dances, and other enjoyable things. Life isn't perfect and teens have to learn to deal with rejection, because they'll face many disappointments in adulthood. Teens are in the transition from child to an adult, dating helps them to feel independent and mature. It's a step forward into "Grown Up "behavior.

As you can see, teen dating affects important factors in a young person's life. It causes grades to suffer, abusive relationship, and more teenage pregnancies. We feel that you should raise awareness for negative effects of teen dating. This is a growing problem in our nation because more and more teenagers are getting hurt from abuse and pregnancies.