Graduate / 'My mother diagnosed with Parkinson's disease' - Nursing School [3]

Hi Everyone,
I am desperately trying to get into nursing school. I am working on my nursing entrance essay and I'm a little stumped. Below is what I have so far. Any help, advice, etc would be greatly appreciated as I am trying to plump it up. Below is what I have so far. THANKS!

Why I Want To Be A Nurse.
When I started my college education, I picked a communications major. I had big dreams of becoming Barbara Walters' assistant. After moving to New York City, I realized that wasn't so easy. I ended up on the corporate side of retail, which I enjoyed and found rewarding, but the economy started going south and I returned home to Rochester. This has turned out to be fortuitous.

My mother was diagnosed with Parkinson's disease. It was hard for her to face as her mother also was dehabilitated from the disease and had died a shell of herself. I became determined to help my mother as much as I could. About the same time I was introduced to my sister's mother in law. A former psychologist she had been beset with many problems both physical and mental. Although she has steadily declined and is living in a long term facility with many hospital visits, oddly I find myself enjoying my visits with her, especially when I can coax a smile out of her. Most people when visiting a loved one in the hospital are probably sad. I find myself excited and interested in everything that is going on.