Undergraduate / 'My two years of hope' - Uchicago/Yale/Harvard Supp Essay [8]

I disagree. I think that as long as you show your strengths as well as your weaknesses, its good. Colleges want to see that you have overcome weakness and they want to see that you are a real person. If you're applying to Harvard, Yale and UChicago, obviously you already have a lot of strengths that they can see in your grades, activities, etc.

This is very well written and I think its a great topic.

Undergraduate / 'an interesting joke of an exam question' - Tufts Supplement Essays - Why Tufts? [4]

I like the hook, but I think you made a good point that the "Simply because" comes across as redundant because you already gave a few reasons.

Also, this is worded a little awkwardly:


Overall, pretty good though. :)

Undergraduate / 'human rights violation and child labor' - Lehigh: on equity and community [8]

It's really well written but I would work on the last couple sentences. You need a transition to make your point about the education because the way it is right now it seems like a non-sequitur. Also, the ending is somewhat abrupt. Otherwise, it's really eloquent. I love your writing style. The first paragraph is really strong.

Undergraduate / UVA - Favorite word & work of art, music, science, mathematics, or literature [6]

I like your writing style. I think both of them are very meaningful and written very eloquently.
My one suggestion would be to maybe try to think of a hook to start off each essay? the opening sentences are both very bland and straightforward. Good luck!