Scholarship / 'I Want to be a Nurse' - fleshing my essay out [2]

I wrote this essay for a scholarship at my school. The guidelines were that the essay had to be one page, double space, and had to say why I wanted to be a nurse. I like the format of the essay, cause it reminds me of a speech that someone would give. Plus, I feel that it states it's purpose without being overly dramatic, nor presenting itself as a sob story. However, I would like to make it longer. Open to any suggestions.

Why I Want to be a Nurse

I want to help people, make a major impact in the lives of the general public, help dissolve the blinded certainty that an act of kindness swathes an insidious agenda. I want to aid in the restoration of hope, celebrate in the defeat of illness and it's mathematically impossible odds. I want to GIVE, comfort the sick and terminally ill; vicariously experience life and death through others, while obtaining the realization that heavily circulated "value systems" that society amplifies are cosmetic-completely void of any underlying principles that fully assess life's grandeur. I want to be a better father than what I am already; amongst this period of our downtrodden economy (with possible setbacks) it is a passionate goal of mine to never present my child with a substandard lifestyle; that at all times she is with stable living conditions, in addition to whatever medical and dental coverage needed-that the rudimentary of both doctor and dental checkups are never deemed "compromised necessities", because of their cost. I want to have a career, and not have to worry about job security, to genuinely reassure myself that the skills I possess are a valued and respected contribution to a company-that advancement is allotted to everyone fairly. I want to fastened a purpose to this scholarly journey of mine, and further the sense of personal achievement that I am already feeling. The undertaking of my postsecondary education has been a fulfilling, yet, arduous passage from high school into adulthood. I have accomplished much, but for me to obtain my degree in nursing, exemplifies that I have taken the rough and jagged ends of who I am, and channeled the off centered aspirations into a feasible reality. I want...to be a nurse.