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Posts by jjm7000
Joined: Dec 17, 2011
Last Post: Dec 19, 2011
Threads: 2
Posts: 2  

From: United States of America

Displayed posts: 4
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jjm7000   
Dec 19, 2011
Undergraduate / "I'm not an athlete" Brown Supplement Q, Perspective change [5]

Thanks guys! I had a feeling it had a bit of a negative tone to it, and i'll work on a revised version. No need to apologize for criticism, it all helps :)

any advice on parts to take out to get it down to the proper character count?
jjm7000   
Dec 19, 2011
Undergraduate / "I'm not an athlete" Brown Supplement Q, Perspective change [5]

Hey guys. This is the first draft of my essay for the prompt:
Sculptor Jacques Lipchitz once said, "Cubism is like standing at a certain point on a mountain and looking around. If you go higher, things will look different; if you go lower, again they will look different. It is a point of view." With this in mind, describe a moment when your perspective changed.

The essay is supposed to be 2000 characters max, and mine is about 2400. Any revisions and/or advice for cuts would be greatly appreciated!

I'm what you might call "athletically inept". You know that gene, the one that gives you coordination, speed, and strength? Yeah, I never got that. At 6'3", you might assume, as many have, that I'd be a great basketball player, but the sport never clicked for me. Neither did baseball, soccer, tennis, or any of the other popular pastimes I attempted during my childhood. But I kept trying, hoping that eventually I'd find my niche in the athletic community. And when I moved to Virginia, right before the start of high school, I knew I'd have to find something.

So in the winter of my freshman year, I joined Indoor Track, running as hard as I could every day, carrying out every drill to the fullest. At the start I was always last by a long shot, but that didn't surprise me. I knew that it would take time. So I stuck it out for the entire season, through every grueling practice and last place finish. And the entire time I thought to myself, "I may not be that great this year, but next year I'll be right up there." That's when the coach called me into her office for a private meeting. She wanted to know why I was slacking in practice. She thought that if I wasn't going to try my hardest, I might as well not be on the team. "Coach, I've been working my butt off to get better!" I told her, but she wouldn't hear it. She was under the impression that I was simply running track as a resume builder, not because I truly wanted to get better.

All my life I'd been trying to separate myself from that mindset that I wasn't meant to be an athlete, the idea that I would never be the MVP of a team or win the championship trophy. But that day, in that meeting with my coach, my perspective changed. I realized that maybe, just maybe, I didn't get the genes of an athlete for a reason. Maybe God gave me bad eyesight and terrible coordination to signal something to me. After that meeting, I quit the track team, and haven't played for another team since. I don't think that I quit on sports that day; rather I made a realization of what was really important to me. All my life, playing sports had been advertised as a way to be seen as "cool", to earn the respect and appreciation of others. I now know that that isn't true. Playing all of those sports was my way of trying to find an identity, but my identity didn't exist within a basketball or on an AstroTurf field, and I'm completely fine with that.
jjm7000   
Dec 19, 2011
Undergraduate / I've had my answer cut off - consequences? [4]

Haha, thanks for the reassurance. I just made the same mistake, and I'm glad to know that they're receptive about it! I'll get right on mailing them the new copies.
jjm7000   
Dec 17, 2011
Undergraduate / 'math and science' + 'Christmas' + 'Lego' - Brown Engineering 3 Questions [NEW]

This is my first draft for the three engineering questions in Brown University's Supplement. any tips would be greatly appreciated!

Questions
1. Many applicants to college are unsure about eventual majors. What factors led you to your interest in Engineering? (Feel free to elaborate on your response to question 2.)

2. What experiences beyond school work have broadened your interest?

3. Brown offers programs in Biomedical, Chemical, Civil, Computer, Electrical, Materials, and Mechanical Engineering. Since there is a common core curriculum within Engineering, students need not select a specific area until their junior year. We are curious to know, however, if any particular program within Engineering presently appeals to you. If so, please discuss that choice.


1) Engineering appeals to me for the simplest of reasons: it is a field that combines the two subjects that I love, math and science. Math has always made sense to me. Everything in it is definite: no opinions, no variability, no uncertainty. Science is the opposite, always changing and evolving, with new opinions and theories that daily change the way that we look at the universe around us. There is always a new puzzle to be solved, a new challenge to be met. To take these two fields and combine them, to be able to not just number crunch and mindlessly experiment but to create and expand technology for the good of others, is to form truly the greatest field of learning and working that I could imagine making a career out of.

2) Growing up, nothing delighted me more at Christmas or on my birthday then getting a new set of Legos. On more then one occasion I left the company of my friends at my birthday party altogether just to rip open a new box and start building something new. At a young age the final product was the same as it is for every other kid: a house, a simple box, colors in no particular order, the occasional unfit piece sticking out of the wall. As imperfect as it might have been, it made me happy, because I had created it. Soon the imperfections ceased as my simple houses became complex cities. Nothing was random now; every color and every sized block had a specific place that they needed to be. Everything was planned carefully, and if the finished product disappointed, it was back to the drawing board.

While I never lost my love of Legos (I still have my old set up in my attic), I did eventually outgrow them. I wanted to make things that meant something, creations that would have a purpose in the world. When I entered the Boy Scouts, I found my new craft in woodworking, and haven't looked back since. From the diminutive but deceptively speedy Pinewood Derby cars, to the toolboxes and workbenches that I still use today, everything had to be planned out perfectly beforehand, and when built properly, became tools more significant to me then any factory-made version ever could. Coming up with a new idea, planning it out from its conception and seeing its creation through to the end - that is what has always attracted me to the field of engineering.

3) While the idea of taking those Lego models and constructing them in the real world is fun, the field of engineering that interests me most doesn't involve building houses, bridges or cars. For me, nothing would be more interesting then to take the marvels of modern technology and to put them to use in the medical field. Biomedical engineers daily push the bounds of nature by implementing new, innovative ways to fight off disease, heal injuries, and generally improve the quality and longevity of life of the entire human population. This marriage of calculated technologies with the wonders and intricacies of the human body is something truly incredible, and something that I sincerely hope to contribute to in my future.
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