Undergraduate / "I Am Undefined" - Common App Essay [2]

This is the the second of three essays I am considering to submit as my common app essay. I put this under option #6, "topic of your choice."

Since childhood, I have been aware that I am different from everyone else. However, growing up in Northern Virginia's D.C. suburbia, my odd name, olive skin, and tendency to eat a lot of rice had never interfered so much. Life as an Arab-American was okay. However, after the tragic events of 9/11, an identity crisis had been violently birthed, and has since then been constantly growing inside of me, gnawing at my sense of self, forcing me to question who I really am and ultimately what I am worth.

For the remaining years I had lived in Virginia, I was reprimanded for being a traitor to my country; and, unfortunately, when I moved to the United Arab Emirates soon afterwards, I was instead scorned for "losing" other half of my heritage. I speak broken Arabic, I prefer to bang my head to Sweden's Amon Amarth than to swerve my hips to the pop beats of Lebanon's Nancy Ajram, and I would never eat so much as a tablespoon of tabouleh. Apparently, such details have led to the general disapproval of my existence. So, where do I belong?

What few seem to realize is that there is more to me, and everyone else for that matter, than ethnicity. "Diversity" has become such a distasteful word, bringing to mind mere ethnical denominations. Whether one is Caucasian, Latino, African, or Christian, Jewish, Muslim, Pagan, or different in any other aspect of one's lifestyle does not necessarily control who they are or what they can contribute to society. I am more than part of an ethnic and religious demographic. I am both anemic and asthmatic. Metal is the most recurring genre on my mp3 player. Although I'm considerably sociable, my steel-toe boots, multi-colored hair, and all-black wardrobe finds a way to disguise that characteristic. My favorite Pokémon is Blastoise. As a child, I was a solipsist. Now, I'm an optimistic cynic. I shall never enforce views on anyone; however, I will always stand up for what I believe is right.

Just because I cannot define who I am, it does not mean I am not who I am, nor does it mean that I don't know what I want to do with my life. Someday, I hope to bridge the gap between worlds through my writing, and revamp the term "diversity" for the better. Over the years, I have experienced first-hand the many different individuals around me, and I have cultivated the aspiration to change what we know, what we seem to know, and what we simply don't know about each other. My dream is to help bring humankind closer together, one page at a time, so that we may transcend our differences and work towards a life our forefathers could never perceive nor achieve. I want to make a difference, and opening the hearts and minds of others seems to be the best one I can ever hope to accomplish. This is who I am, and my cause is what I am worth.

Undergraduate / When You Didn't Exist (M&Ms and Solipsism) - Common App Essay [8]

Okay this is one of three of my common app essays, I'd like to know your HONEST OPINIONS about it. I chose option #6, which was "topic of your choice."

One winter day, thirteen years ago, I had the foolish misfortune of shoving M&Ms up my nose. At the time, my elder sister, already in the second grade, was monopolizing my mother's precious time with her school work. Therefore, I had no one to play with. I must also mention that at this time, I was a profound solipsist. Shattered by outright neglect, I half-heartedly skipped into my parents' bedroom and found an unambiguously open pack of Hershey's M&Ms lying on the dresser. Without much further thought, I grabbed the bag and scooted back into the hallway to reevaluate the accessibility of my playmate sister. But, of course, she was too preoccupied with her crayons, most of which I had already broken while drawing rainbow daffodils and princess castles.

Quietly, yet delightfully, I popped M&M pieces into my mouth, but I desperately wanted my mother's attention. It became harder to entertain myself, especially with this newfound sugar rush from the forbidden fruit I hid in my grubby hands. The piece I remember holding at that moment was a brown M&M. Why did they color the brown M&M's brown, when the chocolate had been brown to begin with? To me, It was perplexing, and so much so to the extent that I mindlessly shoved it up my right nostril instead of placing it in my mouth. Oh, I thought. That feels pretty cool. I pulled out an orange M&M and secured it in my left nostril. I felt like a God - or perhaps a beast, but only one of unfathomable might and strength.

"Mama! Mama!" I began to shout from the hallway. "Mama, I'm a monster!" I began to growl in her general direction. The noxious odor of Crayola no longer wafted in from the room... or perhaps I could no longer smell it? My inadvertent plan had failed to work. It was time to put those rebellious-looking M&M's in my mouth. But that had failed also.

My parents forced me to blow my nose as hard as I could and roar like Simba, but no roar came out. I sounded less like the king of the jungle and more like a child with a pair M&M's beginning the long journey into her lungs. My nostrils were adhered shut with chocolate candy, and they started to sting. I fearfully gazed upon the distressingly modest amounts of brown stains on the tissues I blew my nose into. I was frightened, and felt very much alone.

Straight afterwards, I was driven furiously to the hospital, where the pieces were nowhere to be found because they had already melted during the ride over. In the ER, there were children of many ages, all there in illness, injury, or possibly even chocolate maladies. Hiding under the receptionist's desk, I began to ponder the true reality of the world around me, because there was no way that the M&Ms I had in my nose should have caused such a ruckus if they did not exist.