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Posts by dyao123
Joined: Dec 28, 2011
Last Post: Dec 28, 2011
Threads: 1
Posts: 2  

From: United States of America

Displayed posts: 3
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dyao123   
Dec 28, 2011
Undergraduate / Faculties / Chemistry / Crawl to Success - NYU [5]

1st essay
instead of needy, put those in need
add how you were able to help those in need, was it a company?
remember to answer the question fully, it asks you ONE activity. i think you need to focus on one volunteer organization you were apart of and how it affected your way of thinking, whether about life or about the world something to that aspect.

your a good person

1st SUPPLEMENT
combine the first 3 sentences
how will it broaden your knowledge of your chosen major? what is "this"
i like the content of this essay, but please work on your grammar, theres too much to fix grammar wise
dyao123   
Dec 28, 2011
Undergraduate / Lehigh supplements - define 'equity' and 'community' [NEW]

What unique aspect of Lehigh most interests you? (As a guideline, your response should be between 150-250 words.)

I am a part of the next generation of leaders and role models. To be ready to take this role, I need to be able to develop and express my creative ideas and imagination to produce positive changes in the world. I need to become a leader that the younger generation will look up to. At my independent high school, Brooks School, I was able to show and express my leadership and creativity in a number of different ways. I became the captain of the freshman soccer team, and as time progressed, I became a co-founder of the chess club, an active participant in our new Asian and American Association organization, and more recently, I have become a dorm prefect for 22 young students. At Lehigh, I can further develop my leadership skills as well as interests with the many unique aspects of what Lehigh has to offer. At Lehigh, I will have the chance to take the P.E.E.R. leadership course, I will be an active participant in clubs and organizations, and not only would I have an opportunity to study at a world class institution, but the benefit of small sized classes, the ability to choose from more than 50 disciplines in the College of Arts & Science's 18 academic departments, as well as the curriculum's flexible requirements, will allow me to fully explore everything that interests me and allow me to build a solid foundation toward my future career.

In our ever-changing society, people have defined 'equity' and 'community' in many different ways. How do you define these terms and what are the implications of equity and community for our 21st century society

Equity in our society today is a characteristic less frequently seen. A prime example of this is seen when some lawmakers believe that cutting
educational funds is one of ways to cut our national debt. I believe they are wrong. I have had a first hand look at an extreme example of a school with insufficient resources in a poor remote area in China, Hu Tan Middle School. It was eye opening to me. These kids were the same age as me, and yet they have almost nothing. Every aspect of their education was so inferior to mine. How can these kids compete with people like me in this world? I knew I had to help. I was able to raise $1500 with help from my middle school. However, even in the U.S, not all kids live in equity. This experience is why I believe that at a national level, if the government starts cutting instead of increasing necessary educational funds, an even greater separation between the rich and the poor that the economic bust has already created will inevitably occur. This experience is why I define equity as having equal and fair opportunities in the world. Yet to provide this equity, I believe the answer lies in the community. I define a community as the individuals of the world. Everybody is an element of this world's community. Every individual has a purpose. By joining Lehigh, I can enrich my mind to the fullest extent to better serve the community. It is only when we can assure equal opportunities to the world, will there be true equity in this 21st century.
dyao123   
Dec 28, 2011
Undergraduate / 'networks of neurons' / 'construction of edu' - What interests and Why Brown supplements [11]

woah on the first one, thats a good thing

for the second one i suggest you put more specifics towards brown. i had this philosophy when i applied to colleges, if you can put a different college name into your essay in a specific "why this college" essay and it still makes sense, then you should probably add more specific things that "this college" has to offer. So for the second one, if you can, if there is enough room, i suggest you add a sentence or two dedicated to what brown has to offer. either way i still think the second essay is pretty good
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