Posts by lilyappleyard

lilyappleyard

Jan 22, 2012

Writing Feedback / Govt Should Banned the Smoking? [3]

i think government shouldnt completely ban smoking because lots of people will complain, but what theyre doing now is actually pretty effective. For instance, in airports you have special smoking rooms for people who want to smoke, but the rest of the airport is non-smoking. This benefits both sides, so it's pretty good.

lilyappleyard

Jan 22, 2012

Essays / A paragraph about myself (I don't know a lot of English vocabulary..) [8]

start with maybe reading picture books or watching english movies that you are interested in
and try and talk to someone who can speak english relatively well often

lilyappleyard

Jan 8, 2012

Writing Feedback / 'questions authority can lead to an improvement in the quality of life' - SAT Essay [4]

Hi thank you so much for replying

I did not edit this. I wrote it under 25 minutes then typed it up
The prompt is: Is it important to question the ideas and decisions of the authority?

the stuff in the box says
"sometimes it is necessary to challenge what people in authority claim to be true. although some respect for authority is ,no doubt, necessary in order or any group or organization to function, questioning the people in charge- even if they are experts or leaders the their fields- makes us better thinkers. it forces all concerned to defend old ideas and decisions and to consider new ones. sometimes it can even correct old errors in though and put an end to wrong actions."

lilyappleyard

Jan 8, 2012

Writing Feedback / 'questions authority can lead to an improvement in the quality of life' - SAT Essay [4]

This is an essay that I wrote to prepare for the SAT
Please give me some feedback and also a score if you can. I am wondering if I have enough advanced vocabulary, please let me know. Thank you!

There is no single person who is always right. Even those in positions of authority can have ideas and decisions that are not the most beneficial to the people they have power over. This is evident in both literature and history, as both Fahrenheit 451 and the United States in the 1700s exemplify that it is essential to question authority.

The protagonist of Fahrenheit 451, Guy Montag, is an inured fireman who starts doubting whether the rulers of his society are making the correct decision in censoring books and banning knowledge. He finds himself conflicted and not knowing if obeying the orders of those in authority will allow him to live a happy life. Ultimately, he decides to go against authority and escapes from his society. Although he is forced to never return to his home and wife, Montag ultimately achieves happiness and freedom because he is no longer restricted to following the faulty ideas of his authorities.

Similar, the United States in the 1700s is also an example of how questions authority can lead to an improvement in the quality of life. When Britain vexed the colonists by imposing Stamp Taxes and Quartering Acts, the colonists rebelled and demanded a stop to these unreasonable acts. The colonists doubted that Britain was concerned with their well being; thus, in order to united themselves and fight for their rights of Englishmen. They ultimately achieved success as Britain softened on the taxes and the colonists later drafted one of the most influential documents in history- the Declaration of Independence. If the colonists had blindly followed Britain's ordered and not questioned its decisions, they would not have gained the freedom and rights they had fought for so rigorously.

Through Fahrenheit 451 and the United States in the 1700s, it is clear that questioning the ideas and decisions of those in authority is important for improving and advancing in society. Doubting those in power allows individuals to become better thinkers and could also correct old errors and end wrong actions.