hopefulsckid
Jan 14, 2012
Undergraduate / Education interruption Common App response [3]
Alright, yet another portion of writing that needs editing/feedback. Please be as honest and brutal as possible! And if it matters, I am a prospective Sociology major applying to USC.
2. I didn't attend ASU during the Spring 2011 semester because of two chief reasons. My financial aid was delayed for so long that I couldn't attend any classes for that semester. I decided to deal with this interruption in my educational career constructively and I accompanied my expatriate father to Angola. During this time, I was immersed in a fusion of Portuguese and Central African culture. I stayed in Luanda, a city where poverty and privilege existed in close proximity together. Even though we lived in the richer part of town, I still saw many examples of poverty and destitute on the city streets. I frequently ran into children as young as 10 operating boats and driving taxis. With the help of a guide, I managed to have conversations about their plight, their fears and their lives. These engaging conversations made me appreciate how fortunate I was to live in America, where opportunity is plentiful. Even after I stumbled in my earlier educational years, I am given ample opportunity to redeem, challenge, and engage myself. Although I felt that the short time I spent there wasn't nearly long enough, it affected me positively and I have renewed dedication to both aiding those in need and realizing my full potential, if only for those who don't have that chance.
Alright, yet another portion of writing that needs editing/feedback. Please be as honest and brutal as possible! And if it matters, I am a prospective Sociology major applying to USC.
2. I didn't attend ASU during the Spring 2011 semester because of two chief reasons. My financial aid was delayed for so long that I couldn't attend any classes for that semester. I decided to deal with this interruption in my educational career constructively and I accompanied my expatriate father to Angola. During this time, I was immersed in a fusion of Portuguese and Central African culture. I stayed in Luanda, a city where poverty and privilege existed in close proximity together. Even though we lived in the richer part of town, I still saw many examples of poverty and destitute on the city streets. I frequently ran into children as young as 10 operating boats and driving taxis. With the help of a guide, I managed to have conversations about their plight, their fears and their lives. These engaging conversations made me appreciate how fortunate I was to live in America, where opportunity is plentiful. Even after I stumbled in my earlier educational years, I am given ample opportunity to redeem, challenge, and engage myself. Although I felt that the short time I spent there wasn't nearly long enough, it affected me positively and I have renewed dedication to both aiding those in need and realizing my full potential, if only for those who don't have that chance.