Undergraduate / Learning From My Dissapontments (saint marys supplement) [5]

I feel like the disappointments in my life mean so little to the world, things way worse happen to better people every day, I know that, but that doesn't mean the disappointments don't still hurt.

A small selfish disappointment is the loss of a semifinal valley soccer game. My team, my sisters, worked so hard to get that far. We put all we had out on that field all year, our blood sweat and tears will never leave that field, but even that wasn't enough. I wasn't disappointed in my team or any one of my teammates, I was disappointed in myself because I couldn't give them what they wanted, what we worked so hard for. I feel like maybe, if I had the chance again, I could do something that would make the difference. From that disappointment I learned I should never give up, work for what I want , and never settle.

One big disappointment in my life, one that has really affected not only me, but my who family, was the discovery of my mom's cancer. It was the worst and most terrifying experience of my life when it was discovered that my mom had a tumor in her spine, then another tumor in her spine, then but another tumor in her spine and one in her brain. My mom has had three surgeries because of her cancer. The first I was too little to remember, the second I wasn't old enough to realize what was going on, and the third happened my junior year. My mom had been sick for a while and had gone to the hospital. I will always remember the day at school when the office called me up and said I needed to call my dad as soon as I could. I was so scared, I had thought the worst had happened, only to find out that my mom had been moved to a hospital in USC and was going to have brain surgery the very next day. I was numb, I couldn't breathe, I couldn't think, it took all my effort not to crumple onto the floor and burst out into tears at school. Not many people knew what was going on, but they knew something was wrong and tried to comfort me. To find out in a couple of days that the surgery was a success was the best news I had ever heard. It made me realize how close I was to losing not only my mother but my best friend. When, over Christmas break my mother had an unexplainable episode, all those old fears and that terrifying day came flooding back into my mind. This whole ordeal of my mother being sick has been one of the biggest disapointments in my life, not just because it tortures me, not because it tortures my family and friends, but for my mom. She was never able to play with me, to run around and help me with soccer or play volleyball with me. Its disappointing that I am able to do everything and anything and she can't walk around the mall without getting tired. What I have learned from this frudtrating, irritating and impossibly cruel disappointment is that in order to help my mother I have to do all I can do and live life to its fullest.

(This is just a rough draft, any help would be glady appreciated, thankyou :) )