Writing Feedback / 'building a factory near my community is really a catastrophe' - TOEFL writing [2]

There is a heated debated issue over what exactly happened to the residents if a new factory is established near their home, and people's points of view can be approached from several different angles due to its complexity. Some people tend to view it as a sign of prosperity while the others seem to consider it as a disaster. After deeply deliberating over this issue, I also develop my own point of view. I favor the latter position, that is, the erection of a big factory will have a negative influence on the residents.

Some people might think about that when a factory is built, it brings a lot of job to those who live here, such as the operators in the factory or the cooks and the waiters in the new restaurant adjacent to the factory. The increase of employment opportunities prospers not only the community but also the district around it. It will follow by many benefits such as the increase of the house price. Nevertheless, this perspective is only a fallacy.

The only and crucial truth is those job that the residents can get from the factory is low-skilled jobs with the very low salary. The factory needs the high-tech employee, but most of them are from other cities instead of the local community. The young generations won't consider it as an ideal profession and they will leave the community; thus, the average age of the population here will also increase which is far from the indication of prosperity.

The second thing must be taken in to consideration is the pollution that will produce by the factory. There's a case study in our country that after the establish of a factory in Fushing county, a place far from the big city, the residents there gradually get a strange disease which let their feet become black and they might die suddenly without the way to cure them. The researchers are very confused and finally found that it's originated from the heavy metal, As, which is a side-product in the manufacture of plastic. It was blend into the water and the people who live there drink the polluted water every day. I think everyone won't hope that something similar will happen in his life.

To sum up, I think building a factory near my community is really a catastrophe because its disadvantages are so devastating. That is not to say that the other points of views are completely without merit. However, I think the reasons I have provided in favor of my point of view are stronger.

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Please help for better vocabulary usage or sentence structure, thx a lot!