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Posts by skmbrdn59
Joined: Feb 25, 2012
Last Post: Feb 25, 2012
Threads: 1
Posts: 1  
From: United States of America

Displayed posts: 2
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skmbrdn59   
Feb 25, 2012
Writing Feedback / (Subccumb to / Athlete, singer, honor / Mascara) Help my introduction [3]

You spelled "aliments" incorrectly in the fourth line. If you were looking for the word, "ailments" just switch the " i " and the " l ". You wrote, "...prestige of Doctor be simply because to me the natural sciences are poetry..." I suggest you change it to "prestige of being a Doctor simply because, to me, the natural sciences are poetry." I do like the first one though, nice job. I am in the need for some feed back myself if you dont mind.
skmbrdn59   
Feb 25, 2012
Undergraduate / West Point admissions essay asking why I can work well with others [2]

I believe that respect for others and understanding diversity are very important leadership traits. Without them, a person has a more difficult time understanding their leader, peer, or subordinate, no matter their color, gender, ethnicity or religion. When the differences are understood, a more positive, cohesive environment can be produced. As group members are exposed to new ideas, thoughts, and people, the opportunity to build character presents itself. I will be successful when working with others that are different from me because I have learned to recognize the potential additions people can make to a group.

A group with a wide variety of people has the ability to make more creative solutions to a problem than would a group of similar people. I have come to learn that the wider variety of people I work with, the more solutions will be presented, and creativity displayed. The goal of a leader should be to recognize the potential that their group has, and be able to channel it into an effective problem solving team. As a cadet and officer, I intend to promote the most productive and successful inter group relations possible.

When people feel like their skills, talents, and contributions are appreciated, they feel more welcome, and the desire to perform better increases. Demonstrating to others that their input is valued and that prejudice will not be allowed, shows that their differences are important. As members of a group begin to feel more comfortable, and respect for them as individuals is shown, it helps to foster an environment that promotes creativity. Groups that consist of persons with diverse backgrounds have the potential to formulate more innovative solutions to achieve their objectives.

Communication isimportant when it comes to problem solving. Groups that contain a large variety of people often have trouble communicating. As a cadet and officer, I plan to use my experience working with others to assist group members in communicating clear and concise thoughts. As the president of my school DECA club, and as a participant in my church's volunteer efforts, I have experienced first hand what it is like to work with people that very different from me. Without effective communication, our meetings and work efforts would not be possible.

When I have worked with a diverse group of people in the past, I recognized their inherent value, and saw the possible contributions they could make. Last year, I worked with my classmates to help design an environmentally friendly courtyard for my new school. Each group member had various ideas. Despite their differences and disagreements, they all had valuable input that helped us to win the competition. If we had not communicated well, our objective would not have been achieved.
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