Posts by Andrew

Andrew_Ts

Jul 17, 2012

Writing Feedback / IELTS practice-Letter about major news in my country [3]

Hi, Anzdriz!

In general, I suppose, your writing style is correct.
However, I would like to emphasise the fact - you did not answer to the question - explain why people are interested in int .

The second thing is a value of your letter. You will not have enough time (20 minutes) to write down about 300 words and there are only one and a half page on the answer sheet for your letter...

Try to avoid any repetition. For example, you have used the word "because" 3 times in 2 sentences.
Use synonyms - therefore; as a result...

Good luck!

Andrew_Ts

Mar 8, 2012

Writing Feedback / {IELTS} Should university education be restricted to the very best academic students? [2]

Task:
Present a written argument or case to an educated reader with no specialist knowledge of the following topic.

University education should be restricted to the very best academic students, rather than being available to a large proportion of young people.

To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays, actuality of education quality is as high as never. However, some people reckon that it is necessary to narrow down accessibility of tertiary education to elite students, while other argue that way to the high education have to be widely opened for young generation. In this essay I will present a number of arguments to demonstrate advantages of unlimited education .

To begin with, it is necessary emphasize that owing to the huge impact of rapidly growing modern technology working process become more and more complicated. Not only just finished school pupil has difficulties with an avalanche of information but also sophisticated and experienced specialists. Due to this fact, it is getting clear that every young person has to attain as much knowledge as possible from the very beginning. Furthermore, only in university student acquires uncountable experience of working with unrestricted range of data and study how to combine, sort and analyze it in order to achieve useful result, providing that school lays only the foundation for the development of a person.

In addition, on the ground that development of mind has different pace, equal opportunities for everyone should be given to realise their potential. Moreover, as a rule, university has better environment and equipment in comparison with school what encourage student flourish like a plant in a greenhouse.

In conclusion, I totally agree with the statement that skyrocket spreading of knowledge between future professionals gives much more advantages than disadvantages, because I believe that to uncurb education and to give an equal chance to study in university to everybody are wise steps for future society.

Total: 267 words.

P.S. This is my first work.
I would be grateful for the strict assessment with the most detailed comments.
I hope to get at least 6.5 for the writing part on the exam ...

Thank you for your consideration.

Andrew_Ts

Mar 8, 2012

Writing Feedback / Should school teach a young person on how to be a good parent? skills of good parent [2]

It is a widely held belief amongst many that S chool {the word 'school' only needs a capital letter at the start when it is part of a name..."} is responsible for making an individual into a good{I would recommend use synonym - proficient} parent. On the other hand, there is also a counter argument saying that School alone will not be able to transform an individual and P arents {Parents is not a proper noun, so in the middle of a sentence you should no capitalize it}are are equally responsible. Based on my personal experiences and perception, I feel that School can help in teaching and showing the path, but P arents, family and environment also play a vital role.

School lays the foundation for the development of a person. The different lessons thought and the projects undertaken help them understand the different concepts.{It seems to me weird... and I would ask somebody correct this sentence to the more proper maner.} But this would be theoretical in nature. Acquiring the skills to be a good parent cannot be taught in a straight forward fashion. They are the traits which get inculcated in a young person based on the different incidents encountered in his life. The environment in which you grow up has a huge impact on the soft skills which a person develops unconsciously. Parents can help children cultivate good habits if they are followed in the day to day life. If you are a good Parent then the scope of your children also becoming good Parents is high. This is because they learn a lot from the habits and environment.

Now let us discuss about the skills a good parent should possess. Firstly, I would say that patience and ability to accept ups and downs in a sportive fashion is one important attribute a person should posses to be a good{too much 'good' - sophisticated?} parent. This would encourage them and help not loosing their self esteem. Parents should not impose any kind of pressure on children and let the children identify their talent and move in their interested field. Another important skill a person needs is balancing the work and family life. Some people barely have any time for family or children and realize the unimaginable effects of this only after a long time. A Good parent will always be respected by their children and society and their children will become good{too much 'good' - worth-while?} citizens of the society.

Based on what has been discussed, it is evident that School, Parents and the environment play a major role in making good parents which inturn{in turn} results in developing a good{too much 'good' - successful and harmonious?} society.

Good job!!! :-)