krishnasapkota
Mar 9, 2012
krishnasapkota
Mar 8, 2012
Undergraduate / "One day you will have to manage the company" - (COMMON APP) Transfer Essay [2]
A nice structured essay I must say! If this was the type of your application essay and you got rejected for not having sufficient language skills, then I fear I won't get into any of them.
A perfect beginning, but the second paragraph, I think disrupts the coherence of the essay. You have focused quite a bit on you goals but you need to think about focusing on why you want to transfer a little bit more..I think..Please have a look at mine.
A nice structured essay I must say! If this was the type of your application essay and you got rejected for not having sufficient language skills, then I fear I won't get into any of them.
A perfect beginning, but the second paragraph, I think disrupts the coherence of the essay. You have focused quite a bit on you goals but you need to think about focusing on why you want to transfer a little bit more..I think..Please have a look at mine.
krishnasapkota
Mar 8, 2012
Undergraduate / 'remarkable experience of student life' - Application Essay [3]
This is the essay I had written for my application to Mechanical Engineering. Now I have to write another essay for Space Engineering in another University. PLease help me with the contents that I may include in my essay from this essay plus some won't-be-caught tips.
Mathematics is my passion, Physics is my brain teaser and Chemistry is my fun time. Numbers grab my attention, formulas turn me on and enigmas hold me strong. So, my thirst for knowledge seeks something creative to get appeased. I believe that the revolution in mechanical world is on outcome of sheer curiosity and creativity of inventors. My craze for exploring mechanical world drives me towards Mechanical Engineering and for the same, I am seeking an appropriate place.
I usually engage myself in something technical and creative such as repairing my dad's bike, my bicycle PC, TV and heating water using blades. Whenever I go to a workshop, I closely observe the apprentices working and ponder over the complex machines and their purpose. Planes have always been the objects of curiosity to me. I get amazed at how the tons weighing machine can fly so easily above us against the gravity.
There is a huge paper mill in my hometown. I always noticed the dense black cloud of smoke rising up in the sky through the large outlets and get diluted in the atmosphere. I had visited it several times as a child and was amazed at the extremely monumental web of machines but was equally annoyed at the extent of pollution it created. Now I want to contribute my bit by doing researches on machine and fuel efficiency to help conserve the earth.
After we shifted to the city, I discovered an old cement factory nearby my house and could not wait to explore it. I was accompanied by my neighboring brother and was once again stunned at the sight. I realized that the zeal for machines was still alive inside me and also, that I had to go a long way to fulfill it. So, I am seeking a right place to ignite that spark in me. And I firmly believe that U of T, with its excellent resources, highly lauded faculty, intensive research opportunities and the paid internships through Professional Experience Year, will give me the right exposure. I equally acknowledge its 'A mutual investment' policy and I believe that I shall reap double of what I sow in U of T. My remarkable experience of student life was being appointed as head of 'Science and Maths Club' and 'English Speaking Club' for it helped build confidence and excelled my leadership qualities. Besides, as an art student i had an extremely worthy experience because paintings and sketches have always inspired me to think beyond borders. It demands creativity and therefore, helps me unleash my creativity on the canvas.
I am optimistic about continuing these at U of T as I am aware of the opportunities there. Hundreds of Student Clubs in U of T will broaden my exposure. Likewise, with its excellent reputation round the world, high on and off-campus part time job opportunities, the career centers at U of T will surely help me with my career after graduation. Besides, its cultural diversity, rich amenities, celebration opportunities, festivities and cultural hotspots equally lure me to get into U of T.
This is the essay I had written for my application to Mechanical Engineering. Now I have to write another essay for Space Engineering in another University. PLease help me with the contents that I may include in my essay from this essay plus some won't-be-caught tips.
Mathematics is my passion, Physics is my brain teaser and Chemistry is my fun time. Numbers grab my attention, formulas turn me on and enigmas hold me strong. So, my thirst for knowledge seeks something creative to get appeased. I believe that the revolution in mechanical world is on outcome of sheer curiosity and creativity of inventors. My craze for exploring mechanical world drives me towards Mechanical Engineering and for the same, I am seeking an appropriate place.
I usually engage myself in something technical and creative such as repairing my dad's bike, my bicycle PC, TV and heating water using blades. Whenever I go to a workshop, I closely observe the apprentices working and ponder over the complex machines and their purpose. Planes have always been the objects of curiosity to me. I get amazed at how the tons weighing machine can fly so easily above us against the gravity.
There is a huge paper mill in my hometown. I always noticed the dense black cloud of smoke rising up in the sky through the large outlets and get diluted in the atmosphere. I had visited it several times as a child and was amazed at the extremely monumental web of machines but was equally annoyed at the extent of pollution it created. Now I want to contribute my bit by doing researches on machine and fuel efficiency to help conserve the earth.
After we shifted to the city, I discovered an old cement factory nearby my house and could not wait to explore it. I was accompanied by my neighboring brother and was once again stunned at the sight. I realized that the zeal for machines was still alive inside me and also, that I had to go a long way to fulfill it. So, I am seeking a right place to ignite that spark in me. And I firmly believe that U of T, with its excellent resources, highly lauded faculty, intensive research opportunities and the paid internships through Professional Experience Year, will give me the right exposure. I equally acknowledge its 'A mutual investment' policy and I believe that I shall reap double of what I sow in U of T. My remarkable experience of student life was being appointed as head of 'Science and Maths Club' and 'English Speaking Club' for it helped build confidence and excelled my leadership qualities. Besides, as an art student i had an extremely worthy experience because paintings and sketches have always inspired me to think beyond borders. It demands creativity and therefore, helps me unleash my creativity on the canvas.
I am optimistic about continuing these at U of T as I am aware of the opportunities there. Hundreds of Student Clubs in U of T will broaden my exposure. Likewise, with its excellent reputation round the world, high on and off-campus part time job opportunities, the career centers at U of T will surely help me with my career after graduation. Besides, its cultural diversity, rich amenities, celebration opportunities, festivities and cultural hotspots equally lure me to get into U of T.