Posts by DENNISHA

DENNISHA

Apr 7, 2012

Writing Feedback / IELTS: Citizen's responsibilities [5]

Well this is my idea (Brainstorming)[/b]

[b]Paragraph 1
i would argue that being a citizen has more responsibilities just paying tax

Paragraph 2
Benefit for just paying taxes
- Simple, we as citizens should receive benefits due to we pay the tax
- The Government has responsibility to its own citizens
- We don't have resources to improve our nations

Paragraph 3
Paying taxes is not enough
- we should take care our countries (give one or two examples)
- Paying taxes should not be considered as a contribution but an obligation
- Improvement in our countries might leads to better life so we should give more contribution.

Paragraph 4
Conclusion
Give your opinion (combine paragraph 1 and 3)

DENNISHA

Mar 29, 2012

Writing Feedback / IELTS: early retirement for 55+ employees to help younger people [7]

Hi xyx0905,

I'm no an IELTS or English teacher bu i think there are some things that could improve your writing task 2:

Paragraph 1
In my opinion, you have to support one of that views, whether you agree or disagree with that statement.

Many companies encourage employees to leave their position at the age of 55 especially in top or managerial positions. In fact, many employees have been laid off in order to give opportunities to the new generation. However,i slightly disagree with the idea of the employees leaving at the age 55 to make room for the upcoming generation.

DENNISHA

Mar 28, 2012

Writing Feedback / IELTS Writing Task 1 - Line Graph (Comparing Upward Trends) [3]

Here's another one..

Please help..

The line graph compares the percentage of citizens aged 65 and over in three different countries (Japan, Sweden and USA) and how this will change in the future.

Between 1940 and 2010, it is clear that the proportion of population from aged 65 and over increased. In particular, the percentage of seniors in USA and Sweden rose considerably, while in Japan, it remained stable. By 2040, these figures will have risen significantly and Japan will experience the greatest change in comparison with 1940.

In 1940, just under one tenth of all citizens in USA were at the aged 65 and over, while the figures for Sweden and Japan were much lower, at about 7% and 5% respectively. By 2010, elder people in Sweden had increased to around one fifth, seniors in USA had increased by nearly 5%. The percentage in Japan dropped by 1% in 1960 and remained at similar level until late 1980s before had reached at about 7% by 2010.

In 2030s, it is predicted that around one from four population in Japan are at the aged 65 and over and Sweden and USA will have about 20% from the total citizens. By 2040, the proportion of seniors in these three countries will reached at about 25%.

question

DENNISHA

Mar 28, 2012

Writing Feedback / IELTS Writing Task 1 - Line Graph (Comparing Upward Trends) [3]

Hi all, i'm new in this forum and i have a problem in IELTS writing tasks and i think this section is the hardest part in an IELTS exam.

This is my Writing task 1 question. i know that this question had been discussed before but the thread was already closed.

and this is my answer..

The line graph compares the proportion of households access to three different electronic appliances and the Internet over a period of 7 years in the UK.

It can be clearly seen that households who had access to electronic gadgets and internet in the UK homes rose steadily over the period shown and CD player accounted for the largest percentage. We can also see that the Internet was not accessible for domestic until 1998/99.

In 1996/97, around 60% of all UK households had CD player and the figures for home computer and mobile phone stood around 27% and 20% respectively. In 1998/99, when the Internet was available in the UK homes, approximately one tenth of the UK homes gained access to it.

By 2002/03, the domestic access to CD player had reached over 80%, mobile phone access had risen to about 70% of the households. At the same time, the availability of access for home computer increased by nearly 20%, whilst for the Internet jumped to by around 28%.

i had a little problem in sentences when i wanted to compare the mobile phone take over the home computer. Does anyone have suggestions? especially for paragraphs and sentences organizations? Many thanks in advance for those who want to help.

Problem