Letters / (Finance and Accounting) Motivation letter for Master's Degree in Vietnam [3]

I am not a professional writer, i am a sophomore still studying in Taiwan now,i want to give my own opinion on your writing. You have some problems that I discovered after reading your letter. First, some grammatical errors can be found in your letter, check it carefully. second, you have problems of using the proper words such as adjectives or verbs.

secondly, i suggest you could divide your letter into different parts, for instances, you can talk about your education background in one paragraph, then your job experiences in one paragraph, and also your determination in one paragraph, that can be systemically shown your bio from everything.

you can go search some examples of motivation letter online and see how it can be more politely.
anyway, wish you everything goes your way! :)

Scholarship / (family love, Lord, determination) - Why should I be given a scholarship? [3]

wow, you really have an colorful experiences in your life and also a very ambitious determination about your future!
I would have some suggestions on your writing.
First of all, I think you should separate into three parts on your different stages of your education background and life experiences, your religion and your perspective.

In order to let the reader reads the most important part that he/she wants to read.
second, you should tell your personalities, habits, and experiences of cooperation work through your activities.
Lastly, you should show your strong eagerness to the reader so that he can know how and why you should be given that scholarship.