sansuki
May 3, 2012
Writing Feedback / IELTS TOPIC: Technology Vs Relationships ; Is this positive or negative? [NEW]
IELTS TOPIC: In what ways has technology affected the types of relationships people make? has this become a positive or negative development?
21st century has seen a period that with the advent of advances in technology, the way of people connecting or interacting with each other is not as same as 10 years ago.
It is generally believed that science and technology have come to pervade a variety types of personal relationship. First of all, telephones and mobiles can be regard as a necessary part of human life in modern society. Compared to the original way of setting up relationships, writing letters or visiting a friend's home, this new technology gives people access to contact others in a easier way. Moreover, increasing numbers of computers have came into our lives, internet therefore has greatly changed the way of communication. Social network, such as Facebook or twitter, allows people to contact with old acquaintance or know new friends by simply clicking their mouse. Additionally, some TV programmes also play a crucial role of changing people's interacting method. For example, a show named 'Find your true love' is quite popular in Japan, which introduces men to young ladies via three or four videos. Interestingly, 80% women suggest that they believe they can find their Mr. Right by this programme.
In spite of the merits of this development ( time and money saving), its drawbacks should not be ignored. For one thing, as a result of greatly relying on TV or computer, people are likely to stay at home becoming couch-dwellers or lead a sedentary life. Undoubted, this kind of lifestyle could pose threat to people's physical health condition, further, leading them to suffer from mental disease, such as, depression. For another, it is possible for many people to lose the capacity to making friends. Yet, managing interpersonal relationship in a real context is a comprehensive skill, which is not simply like inputting a name on a webpage.
In sum, we cannot stop the influence of the technology, seen every corner of the world. Yet, what we can do is to take the advantage and endeavour to minimise the adverse effects. After all, human beings is an active creature. The most appropriate lifestyle for us is not living on an isolated land, but interacting with other social members constantly.
Did I off the topic? writing is a tough job.
'human beings' 'science and technology' should use ' is' or 'are' ?
IELTS TOPIC: In what ways has technology affected the types of relationships people make? has this become a positive or negative development?
21st century has seen a period that with the advent of advances in technology, the way of people connecting or interacting with each other is not as same as 10 years ago.
It is generally believed that science and technology have come to pervade a variety types of personal relationship. First of all, telephones and mobiles can be regard as a necessary part of human life in modern society. Compared to the original way of setting up relationships, writing letters or visiting a friend's home, this new technology gives people access to contact others in a easier way. Moreover, increasing numbers of computers have came into our lives, internet therefore has greatly changed the way of communication. Social network, such as Facebook or twitter, allows people to contact with old acquaintance or know new friends by simply clicking their mouse. Additionally, some TV programmes also play a crucial role of changing people's interacting method. For example, a show named 'Find your true love' is quite popular in Japan, which introduces men to young ladies via three or four videos. Interestingly, 80% women suggest that they believe they can find their Mr. Right by this programme.
In spite of the merits of this development ( time and money saving), its drawbacks should not be ignored. For one thing, as a result of greatly relying on TV or computer, people are likely to stay at home becoming couch-dwellers or lead a sedentary life. Undoubted, this kind of lifestyle could pose threat to people's physical health condition, further, leading them to suffer from mental disease, such as, depression. For another, it is possible for many people to lose the capacity to making friends. Yet, managing interpersonal relationship in a real context is a comprehensive skill, which is not simply like inputting a name on a webpage.
In sum, we cannot stop the influence of the technology, seen every corner of the world. Yet, what we can do is to take the advantage and endeavour to minimise the adverse effects. After all, human beings is an active creature. The most appropriate lifestyle for us is not living on an isolated land, but interacting with other social members constantly.
Did I off the topic? writing is a tough job.
'human beings' 'science and technology' should use ' is' or 'are' ?