Posts by anniejerry

anniejerry

Oct 9, 2012

Writing Feedback / 'A person of good moral character' - Writing Sample [2]

I did not read the whole passage because ran out of time! Sorry, but I caught a glimpse of the first paragraph and I found

"She has so many great attributes that have been beneficial to me" If I were you ,I will use influential rather than beneficial.

Just my own opinion~

anniejerry

Oct 9, 2012

Speeches / Food dislike - correct my paragraph [4]

I think some sentences are illogical~
Which foods did we dislike when we were child ? Which foods do we dislike as an adult? Why do you think food preferences change as you get older?

There are many different kind of foods in this world. Also(I do not think also is useful here, you can delete it or use AND instead) there are foods that we like and we don't. There are some of foods that I didn't like when I was a child. Such as, tomato and red meat. Also there are some of(no " of" here) foods that I don't like it （you cannot use it here）now.(the comma must be deleted and Like should change into the small letter) Like sea foods. However, I think food preferences change as we get older. Because our taste now get different than were we children(Our taste now is different from it when we were children). And I think that when we children we can eat anything were . But, now we grow up and we could realize (not appropriate) what kind of food that we eat.

anniejerry

May 5, 2012

Letters / 'participation in your program is something important to me' motivation letter [NEW]

This is a motivation letter for a summer school, I am looking forward to some corrections and advice for my letter.
Respected Sir or Madam:
I, ***, a sophomore student studying A-level courses at *** University would like to apply for the summer program of ******. I am currently pursuing my double majors, one in engineering of printing technology, another in finance. I have splendidly completed my two fields of academic projects and have acquired a strong knowledge of micro and macro economy of finance and the applications in the market, investement, international trade etc.

I am eager to participate in this program in 2012. For me, attending a summer school in a foreign country will be a fresh experience which I will never forget in my life. I am such a person who are badly for learning and trying new things which I have never experienced before. This program will not only expand friends circles but also broad my horizons.Also, travelling to Europe is my dream.I am always fascinated by European architecture, the grandiose Baroque and the impressive Gothic beauties.

Another important reason for why I really want to participate in the program of European integration is because it has some links to my research I am conducting which is center on moneytary policy in euro area. I worked in a group with other fellow students to discuss monetary policy coordination globally and was assgined to do study on euro area: how the central bank in European makes monetary policies, giving the assessment of economic conditions in the area, analyzing policy and making some forecastings. In our academic seminar, we have discussed some questions involving the development of integration in history: how unificiation of euro area started and the challenges it met in the process.

We are also addressing questions which I really want to figure out: Facing great challenges from the other parts of the world especially in the US, how the unity keep the diplomat relations and reconciling conlficts among members in euro areas? What impacts the financial tsunami in 2008 have on euro area? How EU deals with those financial deficits and debts? How to make the most effective political decision even when there is some background conflicts such as the one between Catholicism and the Orthodox Eastern Church.

Attending lectures delivered by renowned scholars and experts will put reality with my theoretical knowledge from text books in college classes and deepen my knowledge and extend my understanding concerning European institutions. Laden with textbook knowledge, I wish to now implement skills that I have learned in the real world. This summer school will not only help me in filling the gaps of my knowledge about European Union to develop new research work but also is an enhancement in creative thinking as well as critically analyzing of the EU issues.

Finally, I am an innovative and creative person who always makes efforts to better myself and work in a precise manner. I have the experience of summer practical exercise out schools and internship in bank. The atmosphere of discussing and working groups make me feel confident, devoted, motivated. I convincingly believe that the ESU will render me sensitive and ease to collaborate with others and make choices distinctivly.

So a participation in your program is something I look forward to very keenly.
ThankYou
***