JCEstrada
May 24, 2012
Writing Feedback / [IELTS task 2 essay] Should we first explore our own countries? Discuss? [6]
I have made a few notes of changes you might consider underlined below:
Others, however, claim this allegation is flawed as there are many outstanding merits offered by foreign travel.
My essay will analyse the advantages
experience most of their lifetime
I would use "overseas travel" and rethink "transnational" (maybe go with "foreign")
On a personal note while I agree that travel in your own country is important there is nothing like traveling overseas to learn about yourself. I have a friend who learned English in a cheap school in Australia and said that he didn't learn nearly as much in 6 years of school as he did living abroad for three months.
I have made a few notes of changes you might consider underlined below:
Others, however, claim this allegation is flawed as there are many outstanding merits offered by foreign travel.
My essay will analyse the advantages
experience most of their lifetime
I would use "overseas travel" and rethink "transnational" (maybe go with "foreign")
On a personal note while I agree that travel in your own country is important there is nothing like traveling overseas to learn about yourself. I have a friend who learned English in a cheap school in Australia and said that he didn't learn nearly as much in 6 years of school as he did living abroad for three months.
