ohyes7911
Jul 2, 2012
Writing Feedback / 'industrial dominance society' - The extended family is less important now [2]
Hi, everyone.
Please check my essay. Any comment will be appreciated. Thanks:D
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
The extended family (grandparents, cousins, aunts, and uncles) is less important now than it was in the past.
Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
With the advent of industrial dominance society, there are much smaller families in the cities. In other words, fewer people are living in large household now. In my opinion, it is absolutely that the extended family plays a less essential role than it did in the past for three reasons: the independence of financial ability, the convenience of communication technology, and the awareness of privacy right.
To begin with, no matter what the gender or educational status is, almost everyone has her own profession, which means that one person can live a solitary life without family members' financial supply. In contrast, many people rely on ancestors' or parents' farm in the agricultural society, having to live with their family. Nowadays, we mostly work in industry or service instead of farming and thereby there is no need to stay in large family anymore. For instance, there are only four members in my family in the modern city because my parents work as businessmen with excellent financial capability.
Additionally, the inventions of various communication devices provide people with distinct way of getting in touch with family members, such as Skype, Facebook, smart phones, and so on. We can retrieve the instant messages of our relatives through these media despite living far away from each other For example, my grandmother and I live in different cities, incapable of seeing the other one frequently. However, we talk on Skype every day so that we are comparable with staying at the same home. Actually, it's the innovations of communication media that make the extended family smaller than the past.
More seriously, we are more conscious of the importance of privacy right now, disliking sharing the house with plentiful household members. It is certainly disturbing that somebody is playing cards or watching TV while the others are working at home or discussing about the usage of money. For example, Taiwanese used to live with a huge group of relatives, but gradually most of them are perplexed about the noise and the gossiping habit of relations . So some of the Taiwanese people ultimately made decisions to rent apartments far-reaching from the relatives proven to be better than living in such bulky families.
In conclusion, there is little necessity to live in an enormous family today because the society is totally different from the past. We can live a high quality life with the raising salary and few people. Are you missing your relative? Just give her a call!
Thanks a lot.
Chia-Wei
Hi, everyone.
Please check my essay. Any comment will be appreciated. Thanks:D
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
The extended family (grandparents, cousins, aunts, and uncles) is less important now than it was in the past.
Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
With the advent of industrial dominance society, there are much smaller families in the cities. In other words, fewer people are living in large household now. In my opinion, it is absolutely that the extended family plays a less essential role than it did in the past for three reasons: the independence of financial ability, the convenience of communication technology, and the awareness of privacy right.
To begin with, no matter what the gender or educational status is, almost everyone has her own profession, which means that one person can live a solitary life without family members' financial supply. In contrast, many people rely on ancestors' or parents' farm in the agricultural society, having to live with their family. Nowadays, we mostly work in industry or service instead of farming and thereby there is no need to stay in large family anymore. For instance, there are only four members in my family in the modern city because my parents work as businessmen with excellent financial capability.
Additionally, the inventions of various communication devices provide people with distinct way of getting in touch with family members, such as Skype, Facebook, smart phones, and so on. We can retrieve the instant messages of our relatives through these media despite living far away from each other For example, my grandmother and I live in different cities, incapable of seeing the other one frequently. However, we talk on Skype every day so that we are comparable with staying at the same home. Actually, it's the innovations of communication media that make the extended family smaller than the past.
More seriously, we are more conscious of the importance of privacy right now, disliking sharing the house with plentiful household members. It is certainly disturbing that somebody is playing cards or watching TV while the others are working at home or discussing about the usage of money. For example, Taiwanese used to live with a huge group of relatives, but gradually most of them are perplexed about the noise and the gossiping habit of relations . So some of the Taiwanese people ultimately made decisions to rent apartments far-reaching from the relatives proven to be better than living in such bulky families.
In conclusion, there is little necessity to live in an enormous family today because the society is totally different from the past. We can live a high quality life with the raising salary and few people. Are you missing your relative? Just give her a call!
Thanks a lot.
Chia-Wei