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Posts by Peter Piper
Joined: Jul 13, 2012
Last Post: Jul 13, 2012
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Peter Piper   
Jul 13, 2012
Writing Feedback / IELTS - Essay about woman's place in society [3]

There have been strong arguments regarding women's place in the society inthe last decades. Some people advocate the opinion that women should stay home, and others who are against this theory, believe in women's significant roles in the future workplace.

In conclusion, I extremely believe in women's powers and potentials in order to make the Earth a better place for living(statement is phrased awkwardly) . It is quite clear that parents should encourage their daughters from early years to participate in communities, which will lead them to their bright and successful future(s) .

You introduced your opinion very well by showing us the two opposing arguments, however I want to hear more about what you think. After all, that's what the question is asking. Be careful with matching singular nouns with singular verbs, and plural nouns with plural verbs. This is a good start.
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