Undergraduate / A Bloomfield College Admissions Self Recommendation [5]

Hi everybody, I've been struggling with an essay topic for a few weeks which, although simple, is broad and I need some guidance to go with the essay. Please give suggestions on things i should change or where i should lead the essay. It is ony a first draft.

The topic is:
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"What makes me different from other applicants? Evaluate your strengths and weaknesses. Summarize your academic performance and experiences over the past four years. Tell us about your professional aspirations and goals."

"Life has no smooth roads for any of us; and in the bracing atmosphere of a high aim the very roughness stimulates the climber to steadier steps, till the legend, over steep ways to the stars, fulfill itself."

W.C. Doane

As a child I learned that life goals aren't easy to achieve. Me being born to a single teen mother and the eldest of five, I want to set an example and pave the way for my younger brothers and sister. Because I know what its like to struggle and through it all I am grateful for all the thing god has given me.

I cant speak for others because I don't know other applicants goals, but I can say some people are in it for the college life experience; and some are like me, we're here to achieve and succeed in life. I have many goals that I want to accomplish. Many of my goals are to work in the medical field doing different things, learning many languages, study and earn degrees in multiple fields.

I graduated High school with a 3.1 GPA. In School I was good at some Math, World History, Geography, Language Arts, Health, and some English. I easily grasp formulas and solve equations. I like to read and learn about different things especially geography and demographical things. I've always been interested in many different aspects of the medical field.

What I expect to gain from this college is to obtain my B.S. degree and become a respiratory therapist; a program in which Bloomfield offers. Then I would like to go back to school and take up another major. But my ultimate goal in life is to be successful, start a family and give my family the things I couldn't have in life.