Undergraduate / Brown- Carpe Diem - Inspiration Essay [5]

My answer to this question was about The Stranger too. Great ^^ It's a nice essay but personally I don't see how you got this out of the book: "it's about helping the community around you and taking non self-centered actions". The last sentence is nice.

Undergraduate / review my common app (water bugs) [5]

"the experience was a turning point in my life, as it allowed me to see the importance in facing new people and situations open-mindedly."

this is very cliche'. the piece is decent but you should have more narrative, since that's how you started off. good luck!

Undergraduate / I'M A THUG-Common App Essay-My FIRST draft. [40]

I like it. But your epiphany is very cliche' : "I discovered myself and many other treasures to be cherished forever. It is true I wore a mask of intelligence, but I soon realized it was a mask I already had that I simply neglected to wear."

It is not in the spirit of the rest of the piece. I would work on it, it has very good potential.

Undergraduate / Stanford.. help your roommate get to know you. [7]

Show don't tell

Undergraduate / 'I re-focused' - Stanford Short Essay #1 ( a sense of intellectual vitality) [8]

^ Should be a little more specific as to what exactly you were doing.