Undergraduate / 'Heroes and Cool Kids' - College Essay - Event that shaped/changed life [NEW]

I was at my sister's basketball game and a twelve year old girl from across the gym had smiled widely at me, began waving and then continued to run on over to me and say hello. I had remembered her vaguely as one of the students in the class that I had visited as part of the Heroes and Cool Kids. This program included a select group of kids who had shown excellency in character and leadership who went on to advise younger students on how to make healthier life choices. First of all, I was amazed that this girl had noticed me. It had been a few weeks since my last visit but she had still remembered my name and the fact that we both loved the same TV show.

She then went on to tell me a something that would have a lasting effect on me. On one of the trips I had told the class a story about how my aunt had died due to drugs and how I vowed from then on to never have anything to do with them. At the time I did not believe many of the kids were listening, but at this moment I discovered I was wrong. The young girl told me she did not have a chance to talk to me in class but that she remembered my story and what I had said. She went on to say how she was sorry about what happened to my aunt and that after hearing my story, she was influenced to follow my actions and do the same as I did.

At first I thought that Heroes and Cool Kids would just be an excuse to miss a few hours of school every once in awhile. I then realized how amazing this situation actually was. Me simply telling a short story in front of a class resulted in a young girl making one of the healthiest decisions she can at this time in her life. I never knew this extraordinary feeling of being such an influence, being a true leader. Sure, this may have been such a small incident and maybe it was only this one girl who had gotten anything from any of my stories, but it is still is a great feeling to know you had such a positive effect on someone. I was changed by this experience as well and I now, knowing of such a rewarding experience, plan, to the best of my abilities, to work hard in continuing my education and my career and perhaps change more than just a few lives for the better.

Suggestions? Critiques?

Undergraduate / 'loving to run' - Common Application - Write about whatever you want [NEW]

The way I see it, there are five stages when it comes to running. One. This is before you start. You think to yourself, "I can do this, it'll be easy." Although you have not actually begun the work yet, you know what you are capable of and you forget the physical strain your body will soon endure. You want to do this. You want to test yourself. There's nothing but positive thoughts racing through your head. Two. You have started and there is no going back now. Your legs start moving as you pump your arms. You think about technique and proper form; breathing in through your nose and out through your mouth. A little thought creeps its way into your mind and whispers, "You are not even a quarter of the way there, do you realize how much more you still have to do?" This is the, "I have a ten page paper to do and I've only completed one page so far," feeling. And with that thought, a slight burning sensation rushes to your calves and the bottom of your feet. Your head starts to feel a little light as the slow, steady breathing becomes more like a pant. This is not fatigue, but a false fatigue that is simply testing to see if you have what it takes to commit to this run. Some may stop here and turn around, claiming they'll try again another day. Some may put down their pen and convince themselves they're just taking a quick break. Others will push through. Three. You're caught up in the middle of the run. It's almost as if you turned into a machine and lost some of your feeling. Some like to lose focus and daydream as they run. I like to talk myself through it. "Come on reach that tree." "Okay, now you have to get up the hill." I am my own coach. I control what I do and what I don't do. No one else can race my legs for me or control my breathing. This is all me. If I want to give up and stop here, I can. It won't affect anyone else but me. But I don't. I know better by now. I've been down a number of paths similar to this one and I know what stopping does. It sets me back. So instead I press on as my body feels like a machine that is working too hard and is about to over heat and shut down at any second. But it doesn't. Four. This is where the real test sets in. You are coming down the home stretch. You have almost made it but not quite yet. Because your body knows that you are almost finished, it tricks you into thinking you can slow down or stop earlier. You can't though because you are not exactly done yet. If you have paced yourself right you should have just enough energy to push yourself a little harder than you have the rest of the run. You see your finish ahead and you can't help but think, "I did it!" This is the feeling I run for. Five. You stop. If you gave all of your effort, you feel like you want to vomit and collapse onto a cold surface. However, you walk. You let your body cool down and congratulate it for a great run. Some may run to get in shape. Some may run so they don't feel guilt about going for ice cream later that night. Some may run because it relieves stress and they love the feeling. Along with a combination of those, I run for the challenge. For me, someone who doesn't exactly love to run, it is one of the greatest mental challenges I face. To push through when your entire body and everything around you telling you to stop is a sign of toughness.

Is this too cliche? I've written a few and I don't know how I feel about this one. Suggestions? Improvements?