Graduate / 'excelled in academics at every step' - Sop for Master's degree in computer science [3]

Please point out my mistake in my SOP

Having seen many applications of computer like in banking, travel, airport, grocery and health care, I was tempted to learn about computer. This curiosity made me to choose computer science branch during my undergraduate study in order to learn how computer does all work and become an indispensable part of our day to day life. My immediate goal is to pursue Master's degree with a focus in Information Technology to have a broader understanding of this subject area which plays a crucial role in modernizing world.

I have excelled in academics at every step in my education which helped me in getting admission in a good college with major in Computer Science. During my undergraduate study, I had a keen interest towards programming which improved my logical ability to analyze problem. I am proficient in programming languages like C,C++,JAVAand SQL. In order to have a deep understanding in JAVA programming, I worked on a dummy project "Air Ticket Reservation System"during my junior year. This project gave me superficial idea of building interactive system design. The challenges faced while programming in core java and connecting with database enhanced my programming skill. While designing template by JFORMDESIGNER I learnt how to make GUI more appealing. The requirements of system were analyzed by dataflow diagram and ER diagram which helped me to understand Software Development Life Cycle. It is absolutely necessary to go through a systematic process for development of good software.

With a zest to design an application that runs on server, I chose to work on J2EE technology based project "Online Diet Control System"as my final year project. Apache Tomcat 4.1 server was used for hosting web application. For maintaining records of all information MySQL database was used. This project gave me opportunity to work on Cascading Style Sheets for designing web. This website was meant for millions of individuals who want to maintain goodhealthwithout stepping in any gym. Some features like searching facility was used to enhance performance of the website where registered user can find stipulated diet, exercise routine in a convenient way. Working on different technology on this live project helped me to widen my knowledge. To my hard work on this projectI was adjudged with excellent grade.

My performance during undergraduate study was consistent through all semesters. I was ranked amongst top 5 in my class of 70 and have a CGPA of 8.14/10.0. Besides skill in programming language, I have an intense desire to learn "ARTIFICIAL INTELLIGENCE" to have a deeper understanding about machine learning and problem solving capability of machine.I am interested in learning implementations of AI in real world problem I believe that research based Master's program in the United States will give me access to most recent technologies, better infrastructure and the opportunity to learn from faculty who are working on recent developments. Recently I have completed an online course on "Human-Computer Interaction" offered by Stanford University that helped me understanding of designing good user interface.

With a background of Computer Science, now I want to work in the application areas of Computer. The research areas of XXX in Intelligent Systems and XXX in Human Computer Interaction match with my area of interest.I have interacted with a few students of XXX University. My husband is also pursuing PhD in Mechanical Engineering. I have no doubt that this University will provide me good environment to explore the areas of my interest. I will be privileged, if I am granted admission for MS Program in your esteemed institution. I eagerly wait for an opportunity to join your University and prove my worth.