Posts by adaveago

adaveago

Aug 21, 2012

Writing Feedback / People prefer to use their own transport nowadays [4]

it is good u could us some editing though

''The most important reason for this problem is, it is becoming like a passion. Mostly youngsters use their own vehicles to showoff.''
''Private transportation is a problem because most youngsters passionately use their own vehicles to showoff.''

''sun powerful rays''
''sun's powerful rays''

''utilization of private transportation''
''utilizing private transportation''

'If immediate and consequences and measures are not taken to tackle this problem, the consequences would be unimaginable.''
''if immediate measures are not taken...''

'' However, in order to find (the) right remedies firstly, the real reasons must be unearthed.''
get rid of firstly

pretty good just need to edit some

adaveago

Aug 21, 2012

Essays / Cold Mountain Crow Motif Essay [2]

Sounds like ur in the right direction

editing
'Crows have been shrouded by mystic and superstition for centuries and often are the subject of many myths, tales, and legends from civilizations around the world.''

instead many i think it might be a run-on

'Crows have been shrouded by mystic and superstition for centuries. Crows are the subject of many myths, tales, and legends from civilizations around the world''

also i think ur thesis is -'Crows are regarded with great deal of veneration, suspicion, and skepticism being the harbingers of death, doom and misery possessing psychic knowledge from the spiritual world'' u might want to tighten that up by many removing

''possessing psychic knowledge from the spiritual world''
and maby move ur last sentence above ur thesis (i usually like to have my thesis as the last sentence of my intro paragraph

but overall ur off to a good start keep it up !!!:)

adaveago

Aug 20, 2012

Undergraduate / 'Fusion energy ' - ISSUE OF IMPORTANCE FOR UT [2]

Topic: Choose an issue of importance to you - the issue could be personal, school related, local, political, or international in scope - and write an essay in which you explain the significance of that issue to yourself, your family, your community, or your generation..

i have not finished but i am wondering if i am on the right trac
and how i can relate it more to my self

Issue: Fusion energy

Issue- Fusion energy and the energy crisis

There is an undeniable truth about my generation and the generations that will proceed after, we are on the verge of an energy crisis. We must look for a new energy sources if humans want to continue to thrive as a society. One of the most ignored options in this quest is one of the most promising, harvesting the power of the sun with fusion energy.

Building a Fusion reactor is the greatest challenge in physics and engineering for my generation and many generations to come. Since the dawn of the atomic age nuclear fusion has been viewed as the holy grail of energy. The physics behind the process is relatively not hard to comprehend. The sun fuses four hydrogen atoms to make a helium atom. This helium atom's mass is less than the sum of the four hydrogen atoms. Therefore, the difference of the four hydrogen and helium atoms is converted into energy in the form of heat and light.

The energy potential for fusion theoretically has no limit, and could solve the world energy needs. The fuel for the fusion reaction, hydrogen, is the most abundant element in the universe. Fusion produces no radioactive waste making it a clean source of energy. Unlike other clean energy, fusion has the potential to single handedly solve the worlds energy needs, and destroy our dependance on out dated fossil fuels. Once this technology is fully developed, it will provide the world with a cheap, clean, and efficient energy source our world needs to solve the energy crises.

With the dawn of the energy crises lurking upon my generation and the world, now is a better time than ever to join the front lines of science in develop this technology. I am more than eager to join in the quest for harnessing the power of the sun. As a prospective University of Texas physics major I hope to learn about the mystery's of the universe and to help the world of science in figuring out the greatest challenge we face as humankind. One day I hope we figure out fusion technology by breaking free from our dependance of fossil fuels and solving the energy crisis of the world.