Writing Feedback / College is a waste of money and time/ ROI in sending teenagers to University [2]

Haha that would be true if you're speaking of community colleges or low-mid tier colleges. But the benefits and opportunities offered by top-tier colleges are infinite -of course, granted you really challenge yourself and study hard for self-improvement. Honestly, if you seek to party and slack off in college like many unmotivated college students do as of late -mostly from lower tier colleges-, then you're bound to lose money.

But come on... The Ivies/sub Ivies are worth their names -and even lesser colleges, if you put your soul into studying. And so are the LACs that rival them. I tell you that the top 20s of Universities and LACs (so 40 total) are by far worth the cost of tuition. And yet better if you can get scholarship -then you're saving even more $!

Undergraduate / How did you hear about "competitive school"? [7]

Well, if it is 300 chars instead of 300 words, you can't afford to waste any letters. Jump to your main point. The key is limpid writing, and don't forget to be straightforward and honest -very personal that is;

You should figure out what story will make you stand out over the crush of other applicants.

Undergraduate / How did you hear about "competitive school"? [7]

Ah, no probs bud:P I think I was myself paranoid in my last comment. Had to do with something else that happened before I read your post...

And Brown isn't a liberal arts. It is a university -hence my questioning as to what competitive liberal arts.

Anyways, is there a specific major you're looking into? Or at least a specific aspect to the academics or social life?

Brown has a great IR program and an even more fabulous Pre-med/Biology courses. If that's the direction you're looking into, you should incorporate those ideas and your desires/what you have done in those areas. Remember: you are trying to sell yourself here. You need to advertise those great aspects about yourself.

Undergraduate / 'new kid in the school district' - Football essay for Princeton App [5]

Not sure about the Princeton application process, but is this for the common app or princeton supp? And what is the word limit?

And sorry I can't give you a detailed feedback as of now, but you should have more regarding how you matured, or came to realize, what you have described in your conclusion. While you have a story going on there, its more about how you describe and personalize yourself. Tap more into who you are as a person.

But with all honesty, I believe you can find a better topic, or at least take a different approach. Your story may sound trite -not in terms of the story itself, but in the way it is told- and will not distinguish yourself. By this I mean you should make it sound more intriguing and special. Heck, a friend of mine got into Cornell with an essay about his bad eyesight -no he wasn't blind and his Academics/ECs didn't stand out much...

Undergraduate / How did you hear about "competitive school"? [7]

Ugh... Though I am a bit annoyed by your pride, I am even more so doubtful of your claim... As another class of 2013 high schooler, I am also looking into liberal arts -with the exception of Brown, Georgetown and Tufts- and I know the names of many "very competitive" liberal arts institutions -as I am aiming on a few top tier liberal arts. But your mention of the five-character name pretty much proved your claim bogus -unless you are caught up in self-delusion. Though rankings may vary depending on the source, the ranks of the top twenty-ish schools are pretty much laid out clear. And there is barely a school with a five character name within the top 20 range, and certainly none in the top 10 range. And very much like what fefe said, I will say that there are plenty others who are applying to the top tier -notably the HYP- schools, so just say what school it is if you want us to help...

Besides that, I have some words of advice for you in writing your essay. Your answer as I see above is trite. I guarantee you there will be hundreds of others writing in a similar fashion, if not better. Unless you have stellar grades, standardized test scores and EC, every word in your essay counts. DO NOT WASTE A SINGLE WORD. Make every one of them say something about you.

And sorry for breaking this bad news, but I believe that you should take a different turn here. If there is something about the school you really like -as in majors or social/academic experience- tap into that. But YOU NEED TO TELL ME WHAT SCHOOL IT IS so that I can help you with that...