Undergraduate / ELON UNIVERSITY ESSAY- $10,000 to invest in a project - mission to stop high kill shelters [5]

EVEN BETTER ...
he had ,Laryngeal Paralysis, a disease that made him cough a lot and gave him a lot of difficulty swallowing his food.

Undergraduate / ELON UNIVERSITY ESSAY- $10,000 to invest in a project - mission to stop high kill shelters [5]

i think its better if you change ''a lot of difficulty when it came to swallowing his food'' to a more clear and precise version ''a lot if difficulty sawllowing his food ''