Undergraduate / family is what most important. Stanford essay. [3]

Hello
I have read through your essay and I believe I get the jest of what you are trying to say. I have made some corrections, but I do think it would be in your best interest to reorganize, and rephrase some of your sentences. If you are writing a formal essay it would be best to replace words such as (shouldn't, wouldn't, and couldn't), with (should not, would not, and could not). I hope that I have been a help to you.